Should I tell Papa?

[teh one]

Ok girls, here is my story, I am Alan, known as Nanuk (bear) and I am gay, even though I have never kissed a boy before (i got as close as kitten and billy hatcher hugging scene, but that was all ) and I have never had a BF, I just feel thats what I am. When BOP came out, it inspired me to come some how out of the closet, but papa does not knows this, he is most of the time at his work, i am the only son, and mamma knows this, but she isnt to proud to tell. Well, ive felt him before and he is strong, that is one of the many things that keeps me from telling him, besides he is sooo antiqe minded he will never understand! Well I just hope i get some back up from you guys, since you have been so sweet with me in just a day that ive been here in this forum! well, i just hope you help me, since most of the time I have to run to my room during lunch time (when papa is off work) to take off the girly giggling stuf and to share dinner with family ;D
I will apreciate ur advices
With much love, yours
Alan

[Kaylee]

I think, darlin' - the only thing you can do is be yourself. It wasn't always easy for kitten and probably won't be easy for you either.

You said you could wait until 21, and it works- if youwan't to keep hiding for the next few years. Maybe, if your too afraid to tell him ( n its not bad to be afraid) write him a serious letter and maybe go out somewhere? so that when you come back maybe he'd be calmed down.
don't let him hurt you is the main thing. some people don't get it. it'll happen. you have all of us here to help, if that helps at all?

<33 kaylee

[ontheedge]

You have to tell him, my opinion. You'll feel better and you will have been true to yourself.

[fosforito]

I just can second what poetic.liscense had written here...

be yourself!

poeticliscense said:

I think, darlin' - the only thing you can do is be yourself. It wasn't always easy for kitten and probably won't be easy for you either.

You said you could wait until 21, and it works- if youwan't to keep hiding for the next few years. Maybe, if your too afraid to tell him ( n its not bad to be afraid) write him a serious letter and maybe go out somewhere? so that when you come back maybe he'd be calmed down.
don't let him hurt you is the main thing. some people don't get it. it'll happen. you have all of us here to help, if that helps at all?

<33 kaylee

[aurora10]

I think writing a letter is a great idea!!! Letters are always good to write. Give it to him to read it, let him process his thoughts, and let him approach you to talk about it. Like the others have said, you'll feel way better once you get it off of your chest. Good luck!

[avoca]

Alan dear, I think the letter idea is great. not to sound cheap here, but I remember to have read about a celeb, you know randy harrison from QAF? there was this interview where he told how he came out to his family when was 15 or something, and that was how he did it. he wrote this letter and was away for all the day and when he came back, he got to discuss the thing with his family. they had had the time to start and talk about it between them parents.

I know it may be hard, but I have to agree that's the best way to go. sometimes things are not as bad as they seem.

I do send you a huge hug. if you need to talk, we are always here.

[peaches]

im sorry, i don't like hte letter idea just because with my family, they would never really read it and i wouldn't be able to express real emotion down on paper....i just think it's easier for me to do things in person and coming straight out of my mouth.

i do think that you should tell your father. my dad is really conservative-minded also and it's difficult to tell him about things too because this is the 21st century where people aren't the same as what they were 30 years ago. i am definitely pro-be yourself. i think you shouldn't hide who you are and you should tell your dad. maybe sit your parents down and talk to them. perhaps you can talk to your mom first and discuss with her how you should approach telling your dad.

i hope all goes well

[aurora10]

I guess it does depend on how your family is. I've written letters to my parents before and it's worked WAY better than in person. It's Alan said that his dad won't understand. Giving him a letter might be better because it'll give dad time to think about it without Alan there.

[peaches]

yeah, i guess..i mean, this is alan's situation

[blue]

I like the letter idea. It's something that I would do, if I was too afraid to tell, but I needed to. Write one, then run away and hide Well maybe not hide. But be yourself... You shouldn't let him affect who you are. Good luck with everything.

[teh one]

Dang girls, now im in love with all of you, thank for such advices!!!! I will keep in mind all you have told me and as soon as i dare to take action I will post my results, and i will always be my self, the worst problem is papa, cause he knows nothing, only once that he was away for a ¨week¨ and I made a slumber party, all my gfs were there and suddenly he came in looking for forgotten papers! he saw me all dressed up in pink pijamas and with glow in the dark nail enammel, i felt just like kitten, i wanted to run away, mamma tried to explain that me and the girls were doing a play for highshool (in that time) and when all the girls were gone he stalked me like mad running all around the house. ( that day was when i thought i was turning into spider man I CRAWLED UP THE WALLS!) well but soon it was over and I promessed him to make no more SLUMBER PARTIES or PLAYS for highschool.

[aurora10]

Go Kitten! ;D lol Good luck with everything!

[ciaran]

Seriously, good luck to you. I agree with courtnee in the fact that you need to be ready to accept the answers that you're going to get to your questions, but always hiding who you are...my heart truly goes out to you. I have no idea what it's like to be in that situation, but it pains me to read that anyone else is. I have a friend in Lebanon who's gay and aside from my husband and I, pretty much no one else knows. He's always fighting himself, thinking he's such a screwed up person all because of a sexual preference. I cry everytime I see him conflicted like that because he's such a beautiful person, perfect the way he is. I just wish the world had more tolerance.

*sending all the luck in the world and hugs* Get 'em kitten!

[blue-eyed struck]

I wish you all the luck in the world as well my friend. You have to tell your dad the best way you feel is the most comfortable for you! If you feel you can express your emotions clearly in a letter then write one. If you feel that you are more comfortable having a face-to-face confrontation with your dad, then choose the best time you think he's willing to listen and tell him how you feel and let him know this is your life therefore you must make the ultimate decisions. I know either one will be very difficult for you, but putting on a fake persona for the rest of your life is worse! As Courtnee put it so graciously, once you are confident enough and have complete self-acceptance and self-love, you will be able to handle anything your dad might throw at you. Stand strong. Belive in yourself. Good luck!

[teh one]

ok here it goes, I told him today, like 2 hours ago from this very moment, and he told me: you have 5 seconds to go away from me, and i told him: you have 5 seconds to loose ur son for ever, so for a moment he stood still, serious like a stone, i closed my eyes waiting for the big boom, but nothing happened, tears were coming out of my closed eyes, suddenly he said, WE BETTER TALK ABOUT THIS SOME OTHER DAY, A DAY IM OFF WORK. so nothing is gonna happen till he gets the next day off...