*sigh* Where to begin... Ah yes.
WHAT A FLIPPING MORON! Okay, that piece of trash may have made you guys laugh, but what the F ever! Jesus! Okay, for those who don't know me, I'm a ranter. I rant for a living. Not so much as 2, The Ranting Gryphon, but yes, I rant. So if you don't want to read my rant, skip this post!
Paragraph One- Let's compare:
Okay, I can kinda see where It's going with this. Except Cillian's eyes are a beautiful BLUE and that other freak's eyes are a beautiful GREEN! I failed Kindergarten because of attendance, not stupidity. Eyes make a difference, believe me. Now, the only other difference I could find is Jackson had just a bit of facial hair, the other freak had none. I was gonna comment on the hair...but they were basically the same. ONTO THE NEXT PART!
I tried to get a picture of Jennifer Garner for...a long time, so get your own...If you can't see the differences, you're dumber than I am. That's saying a lot, cause I'm f-ing stupid.
Rachel McAdams = Real Star
Cillian Murphy = The Sexiest man to ever grace screens. He has Woman swooning over him in 16 different countries (<-- Made up fact). Take that freak who plays in Smallville!
Red Eye = Psychological Thriller by Wes Craven = Real Movie
Paragraph Two-Wes Craven kicks so much tail that it's not even funny. Scream was kinda lame, but it did spawn Scary Movie, Scary Movie 2 and Scary Movie 3, so it was worth it. THE People Under the Stairs was a WONDERFUL movie. A bit weird yeah, a bit creepy, yeah, but still! It made me laugh¡K maybe that's not the greatest example in the world...I laugh at a lot of stupid shtuff. >.< As for the Nightmare on Elm Street...I haven't seen it, but I've heard things. Freddy's not my type and personally I think Freddy, Jason and all them other horror people are stupid, but that's no reason to judge someone you don't really know. Mr. Craven took a turn and instead of making a horror movie, he made a thriller. He's a genius.
Paragraph Three- I thought the beginning of the movie was carefully planned out, very informational and kicked total tail! There's really not much I can really say about this, since I really don't know/care about Brian Cox and who the hell he's played. I think he did a marvelous job in Red Eye and that's all I need to know. The stupid telephone isn't the main character and this stupid thing-what-writes-dumb-critiques needs to get a life.
Character = A person portrayed in an artistic piece, such as a drama or novel.
That equals movies people. Characters are people, not things.
Now, all of you were talking about the cheerleading thing. Honestly, I care about cheerleaders. I have friends who are cheerleaders, I'm not because...I'm just not. Anyway, cheerleading thing didn't bug me. I would have been bugged if that girl HADN'T been a cheerleader! Ugh! Just look at her and what her life has become! Ew... just ew...
Paragraph Three- Which kid from which Mask are we talking about really? I think that was a stupid statement and that's all I have to say about that.
Paragraph Four- Did he really invite her to nachos? I don't remember that. I thought it was a flipping burger bar! And if I can remember correctly, she DIDN'T WANT HIM TO BUY THE DRINK! He said "If I can guess, I'll buy" He guessed correctly (we find this out later) and she orders herself a different drink so she can pay herself. Jesus! If you're gonna complain about a movie at least get the facts right! And he didn't RUDELY walk away! He had a call and she told him to take it! I hate people who can't critique right. And tell me people! When did he treat her badly? As I recall...he made her laugh and didn't insult her once! Then again... I saw the movie about a month ago. My facts must have gotton lost in my Black Hole Mind.
Paragraph Five- *stares at it blankly* Oh... I get it now! The critic is unhappy the movie actually has a flipping plot! I've had this conversation many time with people. Movies these days don't have plots. So you got to a thriller and it has a plot you HAVE to flip out cause it's not NORMAL. I don't like Dr. Phil, I like Starbucks, and I HATE Grapenuts, but I'm really confused on the critic was talking about. Airplanes serve peanuts. As for the hotel situation and the casket...Whatever. Jackson said what he needed to, but the girl didn't get it. Yeah he confessed he had a hit man outside of her father's house, yeah he said he was a terrorist, but he didn't JUST say it. It was all psychological.
Paragraph Six- HOLY HEADBUTT, BATMAN! Sorry, everyone else did it, so I figured it's join or die. The only thing it lacked was Batman's usual reply of "You're right Robin! It was the A-Hole who wrote this critique!" Anyway... sorry, if you didn't get that you must have not watched The Dynamic Duo show thing. Yeah, I laughed when she got knocked out, it was funny, but it was her own fault so I didn't feel bad about it. The only thing I felt bad about is that she woke up to Dr. Phil. Ew.
Paragraph Seven- Bathroom Scene. I thought that was the coolest scene in the whole movie really. Yeah it's sick that she was touchin the toilet seat...but at least she washed her hands right? I know people who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom, it's unnerving. And how does this dumbo get off calling Cillian a Goatman? What the hell? I don't think I've ever heard something so stupid and unrelated! And when they got out of the bathroom¡K ^^ That was great! For those who didn't see it (which I'm assuming you have so I don't have to cry) they walked out of the bathroom together and the flight attendant is like "Young Man (which I was like "Young?") this is an airplane not a motel!" and he just grinned and went back to his seat. Someone here had a "This is Cillain's "I had sex face!'" thing on here, but I couldn't find it. The trash thing and the bathroom thing were funny with a capital F. Take that F and stick it to the critic's forehead and finish it off by writing the last five letters.
Paragraph Eight- "Hey dude! You steal my pen?" "I was sleepin!" He wasn't drawing a stupid alien! I thought it was a flipping dragon. I thought his drawing was cool, but yeah...the pen was NO loss to anyone.
Paragraph Nine- (This is getting really long ne?) HE GOT STABBED IN THE NECK WITH A PEN! (something I always shout when talking about the movie while jabbing my neck with my finger) Who WOULDN'T freak out? I know I would! And yeah, that scarf was pretty sexy if I do say so myself. Now...Lisa, meanwhile, IS trying to escape, but the people already called security and now they're looking for her! Maybe Dumbo Critic missed that part while shoving popcorn and cherry coke down's It's throat! She stops at a table so she can hide with two girls, then jumps into a car. How do you call that having a latte? Besides! She doesn't drink lattes! SHE DRINKS SEABREEZES! And Mr. Craven doesn't make anyone look stupid except for this critic...and I'm doing that, not him.
Paragraph Ten- Red Eye was a sweet movie that everyone in my city is jealous of me for seeing (why they can't rip open their wallets and got see it I don't know. They're certainly rich enough...or is it they waited so long that the only theater it's playing in now it the $1.50 Theater in a BLACK MALL? I duuno). I say that the No Frankenstein Pen Rule should apply on and off the ground. That was an Oogly pen. (Oogly = worse than ugly) As for Rachel being Jen's clone, please see the rant about Paragraph One. As for the cheese grater... I don't get it, someone please explain that. Cillian... I'm sure you'll do well in whatever movie you play in because you're F-ing hot!
This has been Yosho, your seriously pissed off Ranting Companion and that's almost all I have to say about THAT. ((Actually I have to give 2 that credit. He always ends his Rants with "This has be 2, your (something that has to do with that particualr rant) gryphon and that's all I have to say about that." So 2, HERE'S GOING OUT TO YOU BUDDY! For more information about 2, check out my signature!))
-Yosho-chan
j/k
; It creeped me out too. 
