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Post by blue-eyed struck on Sept 7, 2005 4:42:04 GMT -5
Well....Jill.... I think I need to read the next chapter in the shower!
It's funny, but in the beginning I thought Paul was inspired by Cillian and I was going to criticize you for it because they seemed nothing alike, but then, we meet (sigh) Riley and.....your description of his physical traits and the sound of his voice is so amazing! Down to the T! I enjoyed reading the moments between Paul and Ashely, they seemed so sweet together, but as soon as she met Riley, I was thinking, "Paul.... Paul who?" and I'd get frustrated seeing the next chapeter beginning with him! ANYWAY, I'm rambling on and on. Just wanted to say, I was reading a New York Bestseller Novel earlier and your story is immensely better! Keep up the great work.
BTW, you get an exalt for your impressive writing!
P.S. I cracked up when I read about the $129 chairs from Crate & Barrel! LOL! Although, I am angry at the same time because I work for Pottery Barn right now for summer and C&B are our rival, so if you do decide to publish this, please change the name to PB! Much appreciated! ;D
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Post by blue-eyed struck on Sept 7, 2005 4:45:34 GMT -5
WOW! you know how when you exalt someone, it redirects you to their profile page.... well, I can't belive you're only 15!!! Do you plan on becoming a novelist in the future? If not, you should seriously consider it! AMAZING! My cousin can barely speak (properly, I mean) and she's 14!
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Post by jill on Sept 7, 2005 5:50:19 GMT -5
Well....Jill.... I think I need to read the next chapter in the shower! It's funny, but in the beginning I thought Paul was inspired by Cillian and I was going to criticize you for it because they seemed nothing alike, but then, we meet (sigh) Riley and.....your description of his physical traits and the sound of his voice is so amazing! Down to the T! I enjoyed reading the moments between Paul and Ashely, they seemed so sweet together, but as soon as she met Riley, I was thinking, "Paul.... Paul who?" and I'd get frustrated seeing the next chapeter beginning with him! ANYWAY, I'm rambling on and on. Just wanted to say, I was reading a New York Bestseller Novel earlier and your story is immensely better! Keep up the great work. BTW, you get an exalt for your impressive writing! P.S. I cracked up when I read about the $129 chairs from Crate & Barrel! LOL! Although, I am angry at the same time because I work for Pottery Barn right now for summer and C&B are our rival, so if you do decide to publish this, please change the name to PB! Much appreciated! ;D Wow, thank you! That just made my day, heh. And yes, Paul and Riley are very different. Almost opposites, in fact. But I think you'll be suprised at some of Riley's motives...I don't wanna give away too much but let's just say he's not as sweet as he seems.  And I like Pottery Barn better than Crate & Barrel anyway, haha! Exalt for you, because you made my day. Thanks for taking the time  |
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Post by Dr. J Crane on Sept 7, 2005 20:53:47 GMT -5
Jill, what the hezmana is "I will write the next chapter if you guys want me to" mean??? I wanted that next installment yesterday, Missy!!!!
Please please please write
* sits in a corner, and waits patiently for jill to start typing...*
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Post by blue-eyed struck on Sept 7, 2005 20:56:23 GMT -5
^ OTTID!!
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Post by Dr. J Crane on Sept 7, 2005 21:50:44 GMT -5
You know, I think I love seeing "ottid"s to my post even more than I like my Karma!!! Thanks, blue-eyed - it always makes me giggle!! |
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Post by seonedevinian on Sept 8, 2005 1:12:42 GMT -5
aw, Jill, i miss you! i miss regular instalments of GPASUYF (hehe). but i mostly miss talking to you late online while we both write. i'll PM you soon, cuz i know you gotta sleep now and all...
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Post by blue-eyed struck on Sept 8, 2005 1:55:11 GMT -5
hehe! you're welcome! I fell in love with the word, first time I saw it (Raine's sig, right!?) It's more fun typing it! ;D
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Post by jill on Sept 9, 2005 23:41:57 GMT -5
aw, Jill, i miss you! i miss regular instalments of GPASUYF (hehe). but i mostly miss talking to you late online while we both write. i'll PM you soon, cuz i know you gotta sleep now and all... I miss talking to you too! I'll probably on for a little tonight, not too late though cuz I'm SOOO TIRED. I'm sorry..  School's just been kinda rough this week. I guess I'm still adjusting to actually having to manage my time, haha. Still in summer mode. But yeah, a new chapter should be up tonight. |
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Post by blue-eyed struck on Sept 10, 2005 0:18:33 GMT -5
Hey Jill! I'm not gonna be online until tomorow to read the next chapter. But, before I leave, just wanted to say, thanks for posting it, CAN'T WAIT! This is my favorite fan fic so far! |
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Post by jill on Sept 10, 2005 0:29:12 GMT -5
Hey Jill! I'm not gonna be online until tomorow to read the next chapter. But, before I leave, just wanted to say, thanks for posting it, CAN'T WAIT! This is my favorite fan fic so far! Aww, wow!!! Thank you so much. I'm soo flattered, considering how many amazing fan fictions there are on here!  |
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Post by jill on Sept 10, 2005 1:26:30 GMT -5
Chapter 13
“What’s wrong?” Amy asked Paul suspiciously. This was especially embarrassing because she had already been peppering the question into the flow of conversation randomly over the dinner after the wedding rehearsal. He hoped no one noticed.
“Nothing,” he lied casually, giving her an odd look and plastering an innocent smile on his face. But there was something wrong. Paul wasn’t really the type to obsess or worry over things…ever. Now though, he felt more paranoid than he had ever remembered feeling in his entire life.
“You sure, Paul? You look like something’s bothering you,” Rebecca, a good friend of theirs, commented. He was sure she suspected something, as she had been eyeing him curiously ever since he showed up at the rehearsal. Paul had never been a good actor, and he usually didn’t need to be. He hated the sick feeling of guilt at the pit of his stomach, yet he wouldn’t have traded anything for the previous night.
“Yup, I’m great,” he chuckled under his breath, trying to hide the sarcasm in his voice. All this attention only worsened his mood. He couldn’t even think of anything to change the subject. Thankfully though, his brother could, and did. Now the whole table was once again chattering about the wedding, as they had been for the whole day.
Honestly, Paul felt like he could pull someone’s hair off if they asked one more thing about the stupid bouquet or what kind of chicken they had finally decided on serving. How could a guy be expected to get excited about such superficial things when he didn’t even know what kind of a husband he would make? The girl had forced him to dust off his old doubts about Amy, and rethink his ability to be good to her. If he wanted to do something about it though, he would have to decide quickly. He could either end things now or live with the woman forever. He would have the next two days to make his choice. The timing would prove to be either tragic or perfect.
***
The tension between the young couple was thick that night. The naturally tidy, organized suite was quiet and nervous as the two of them milled around, getting ready for bed. Paul restlessly flipped through channels on the TV, seeing but not really watching. Amy was in the bathroom, rounding out her nightly routine. Paul had listened to her brush her teeth and wash her face. The faucet had been turned off for about five minutes now, so he guessed that she was probably dabbing on her final touches of some kind of facial cream. As if on cue, she appeared out of the bathroom in her one of her simple satin nightgowns.
Paul’s attention was on her for a fleeting moment, and then he was back to looking at the TV set and wondering what the hell he was going to do. He felt her carefully sit down next to him. She said his name with a surprising meekness that demanded his consideration. The usually proud woman was in rare form, suddenly worried and self-conscious. Her eyes were filled with questions, and he got the feeling that he would be forced to figure things out a lot sooner than he expected.
---
Let me know when you read this, so I know when to start on the next chapter!
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Post by seonedevinian on Sept 10, 2005 2:32:27 GMT -5
okay, i read it. awesome! the guilt is making itself known. i'm not in the best shape to be making comments now, so just know that i love the emotional direction Paul's p.o.v. is taking. your story has a lot of depth, really good stuff; i'll PM you now. an good, albeit short chapter!
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Post by blue-eyed struck on Sept 11, 2005 0:42:14 GMT -5
Ok, I can finally post!
ooooo, is Paul gonna leave her at the alter!!? hmmm.... Either way, I am more excited about reading the next chapter since you go back and forth between paul and riley, so.....Riley and Ashely are next, right!!? CAN'T WAIT!! POST SOON!!!
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Post by Shelly on Sept 12, 2005 20:49:51 GMT -5
um ok. that was awesome. waaay to short though!!! i think ive said it like five ziillion times now, but i want more.
will an exalt speed up the writing? *exalts*
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School's just been kinda rough this week. I guess I'm still adjusting to actually having to manage my time, haha. Still in summer mode.
