GROUP THERAPY - Complete (12/15/06)

[stormy]

CHAPTER 11

It was fascinating, in a morbid sort of way, to hear Lisa’s version of what had happened the first time they met. Her opinion of him wasn’t very high, and if he hadn’t seen for himself how conflicted she was, it might have worried him. He could hear that same conflict in her voice now, obviously under the influence of the truth serum.

The thought that Jonathan, and his father, had heard all this made him furious, but there was nothing he could do to change it. Whether it amused, disgusted or titillated them, there was nothing he could do to change their reaction. He just wished Lisa hadn’t had to spill her guts like that to someone who was just using her, and had no intention of helping her.

Why hadn’t she told him any of this? Why hadn’t she explained how she felt? Not that they had much time to talk before he had to leave, but it must have been so frustrating for her to not be able to tell him exactly how she felt.

Did she just compare me to a rabid dog? Does she really think I'm that out of control? Apparently he’d gone about ‘acquiring’ her in entirely the wrong way. It wasn’t like him to misjudge people or situations, but he hadn’t really been the same since his ‘behavior modification therapy’. With luck he might be able to keep Lisa from having to go through that.

When he got to the last tape, he could tell the hypnotic had been added to the truth drug. This was definitely not the Lisa he knew. So how much was truth, and how much was due to Dr. Jon’s influence and carefully modulated questions? He forced himself to listen to Jonathan’s attempted seduction of Lisa. The fact it had almost succeeded was infuriating, and humiliating, and made him more jealous than he’d ever been in his life.

The only thing that made him feel better was her whispered answer to Jonathan’s last insistent question of who she wanted. All that conflict she was going through, between her justifiable anger at his actions a year and a half ago, and recently, and the attraction she felt, it couldn’t be good for her. She’d been through too much. He’d have to make sure she understood exactly how he felt, and what he expected from her. He was even willing to listen to what she wanted from him, as well as her feelings. In fact, he might even be willing to take those things into consideration, if they didn’t mess his plans up too much.

His father was right about one thing, Lisa somehow confused him enough that he was letting emotion overcome logic.

<><><><><><><><>

Now that he was able to think more clearly, with the sedative mostly out of his system, Jon began to wonder just what the hell was going on. He tried to ask the nurse who’d been assigned to him, but she refused to answer his questions. She said he’d learn what he needed to know when it was time to know it. When he objected to that, she suggested he spend his time more productively, maybe compiling a list of questions, in case he would be given the opportunity to ask.

He had a few good ones in mind, too. Such as: Where in the name of God was he? Why did two out of the three people he’d seen here look like they could be relatives? If they were relatives, why didn’t they say so? How the hell could they be related to him? What, exactly, was going on, and when would they trust him enough to get rid of the restraints? He thought he could probably tolerate the padded cell well enough if he could at least get up and walk around it. The most upsetting thing was how little control he had over anything. He was used to making up his mind to do something, then doing it. Or at least trying to do it. Here, there wasn’t a damn thing he could do except think, and he was getting tired of that.

His boredom was replaced by alarm when an orderly came to escort him to see a doctor for another physical exam. He tried to explain he’d already had some of those, very recently, and he was sure the files must have been transferred. He might as well have been talking to the walls for all the attention the orderly paid to him. He wasn’t even given the chance to walk from here to there; instead his bed, with himself still strapped to it, was moved along the corridor and into an elevator. He could tell it went down a couple of floors and that was about it.

What seemed odd was the fact that they saw no other patients. Nurses, orderlies, doctors, maybe other staff, but no one else who was dressed in the dark blue hospital pajamas he was wearing. He supposed they could have been worse, or he could have been given one of those horrible backless gowns, but he’d much rather have had his own clothes on, thank you very much.

To his relief, when he saw the doctor, there was no resemblance to himself. The doctor was taller, with blond hair with a fringe that almost fell over his eyes, and a warm, genuine smile.

“I’m Dr. Crower. I think we can unrestrain you, now, Mr. Breech, as long as you promise to cooperate.”

“Uh, sure, take this stuff off me, but I’d like to know what I’m promising to do.”

“There’s nothing to be concerned about. It’s pretty much a routine medical examination. We want to make sure you’re healthy, and find out if you have any allergies to any medication you might be given.”

“I don’t want any medication. I don’t have any allergies to anything, that I know of.”

“Let’s just make sure, shall we?”

He put up with the exam, and had to admit the doctor did his best to make him comfortable. He tried to ask him some questions, but though he was politely apologetic, Dr. Crower gave him no more answers than anyone else did. He wondered if there was anyone he could complain to about his treatment.

<><><><><><><><>

Since the unpleasantness between Jackson and Jonathan had at least temporarily been resolved, Gregory was able to devote more attention to the most recent chick who’d returned to the nest. Dragged kicking and screaming, perhaps, but back where he belonged all the same. It didn’t look like this one was any more a model citizen than his other offspring, but he was still young enough that there was hope he could turn out all right. With the proper guidance, of course. Jonathan would get him started on therapy and medication the next day, and that should start things going in the right direction.

<><><><><><><><>

Lisa enjoyed her long soak in the tub, and was finally starting to feel clean again. Maybe things were going to settle down now, and she and Jackson could have more time to get to know one another. Or at least she could learn more about him. He already had an unfair advantage in the information department. It was an encouraging sign that he seemed a lot kinder, more understanding, and even more playful than she’d ever seen before.

Now that she’d met his father, she had a better idea of why Jackson was so cold and ruthlessly efficient. He must have gotten the better part of his nature, the more compassionate side, from his mother. Since no one had mentioned his mother yet, maybe she was dead. Or divorced and living as far away from her ex as possible, perhaps.

Maybe the worst thing about her time with Jonathan was that he was probably lying to her about calling her father. Maybe her dad would never find out what happened to her, and worry himself sick about it. Her mom would do the same, and there was no way she could get word to them that she was really all right, or at least as much as could be expected.

Lisa reluctantly got out of the tub and dried herself off. Shivering, she put on the nightgown. She found a hair dryer under the sink and plugged it in. It had only been running a few seconds when Jackson ran to the door and flung it open.

“Lisa! What are you – oh.”
She gave him a puzzled look. “I’m drying my hair. Is there a problem with that?”

He looked relieved; she could see him trying to get his breathing under control.

“No, sorry, I was worried...um, water and electricity make a bad combination, you know? I wanted to make sure you didn’t try to...uh, I know you’re upset about being here, and everything that’s happened.”

“Oh! No, I have no intention of killing myself, and if I did, it wouldn’t be by electrocution, thank you very much.”

“Okay. Sorry. I was just worried. Uh... Never mind.” He shut the door and left her some privacy.

Now that was scary. Was he really worried I was going to kill myself? What makes him think... Then she recalled Dr. Crane’s explanation of why he’d locked her up. Guess I need to explain that was all a lie.

She dried her hair as quickly as possible, then went to bed, grateful to be alone for a little while. Yet it was comforting to know he was just in the other room, if she should need him. Which she wouldn’t, but just in case, it was nice to know he was there.

<><><><><><><><>

Jackson realized, almost as soon as he touched the doorknob, that Lisa wasn’t likely doing anything more harmful than drying her hair. Still, he couldn’t take the chance that she was too upset by everything that happened. He’d have to try to find a balance between making sure she was okay, and giving her some space for privacy. She hadn’t seemed too upset, but he’d have to think things out logically and rationally before reacting.

It had been such a relief to see her standing there, with no obvious intention of either killing herself or trying to escape. Everything would be so much nicer if he didn’t have to constantly worry about losing her. If he could just convince her to stay, then he could finally start to relax.

He grinned as he recalled how she’d looked in the nightgown. Despite the fact that it covered everything but her feet, it was clinging to her slightly damp body. At least that one instinct had been correct, to get her something modest to wear; he just hadn’t realized how revealing it would be. The little red outfit could wait for later. At the moment, he thought the white flannel was sexy enough. Especially considering he wasn’t likely to get laid anytime tonight.

He wanted to check on Lisa to make sure she was all right, but stopped himself from going into the bedroom. He had to at least give her a chance to rest, without being worried about him watching over her constantly. Maybe he could get her to understand it was due to protectiveness, not any baser motivation than that. Seeing her so helpless in the padded room had made him more protective, yet at the same time he wanted her to be strong on her own. He didn’t like seeing her completely helpless. It wasn’t the thrill it used to be. In fact, if she hadn’t fought back, and kept trying to outwit him when he’d first met her, he could probably have completed the mission, then forgotten all about her. He wasn’t used to anyone being so determined to...do what? Live, certainly, that he could understand. The will to live was extremely strong in most people. But her main motivation seemed to be to protect her father, and also Keefe and his family.

That was the first time he’d really thought about this concept of being worried about someone else, wanting to take care of someone, wanting to care that much whether someone lived or died. There was no one else in his life who was important enough to him to take the risks Lisa had taken for her father. Even for Keefe and his family, who were more like acquaintances than good friends. How could Lisa be so caring about people she wasn’t that close to? How could anyone? This whole caring thing was new to him. Before he’d only had to look out for himself, and do whatever was necessary to finish a job. Now he had to worry about her, try to keep her safe and happy. It was a big job, more than he’d counted on, yet he wasn’t going to give up on her just because his self-assigned task was harder than he’d expected. Now that he finally had her here with him, he wasn’t going to give her up easily.

<><><><><><><><>

Lisa hadn’t realized she’d fallen asleep till she felt Jackson’s hand on her shoulder. He was gently shaking her awake and saying her name.

“Time for dinner, Lise. You need to at least wake up long enough to eat.”

“Dinner?” At the moment, food was a foreign concept to her; all she wanted to do was go back to sleep.

“Yes. I’ve been slaving away for minutes in the kitchen, microwaving dinner for us.”

Lisa blinked and slowly sat up. The concept of Jackson going to the trouble to cook for her, even if it was only to nuke something, that was hard to wrap her brain around. “Thank you. I’ll be out in a minute.”

He took the hint and left her alone. She dressed carefully in some of the clothes he’d given her, then mentally geared up for doing something as mundane as eating a meal with Jackson. It would take a while to get used to the idea of living with someone, especially him. On the other hand, it would be nice to not always have to take the responsibility of cooking. She smiled to herself as she wondered if he also did housework. At least there were no windows to wash.

Hm, a domesticated Jackson? What a bizarre concept. Yet for some reason the image appealed to her, Jackson as a feral cat who might slowly learn to become...what? Tame enough to live with, yet still retaining his independence? Loving? Affectionate? Those concepts didn’t sound very much like the Jackson she knew, but perhaps she didn’t really know him that well after all. She realized she was looking forward to getting to know him.

[§ilvercell]

LOL! NUKE UM"

P.S:love the color bar!

[britt]

awesome

[stormy]

CHAPTER 12

Lisa and Jackson kept the conversation light at dinner, both trying to avoid the more difficult topics. The conversation after the kitchen was cleaned up, however, was more complicated. Lisa sat at the far corner of the sofa, with her shoes off and her arms around her knees. She knew her body posture was defensive, but she couldn’t help it. It might not be a good idea to have a repeat of their little cuddling session earlier in the day.

Jackson took his cue from her and settled in at the opposite side of the couch, his legs crossed at the ankles, his elbows resting on his knees. Lisa didn’t want to consider what his body language might be trying to say, but it certainly gave her an interesting view. She concentrated very hard on looking at his face.

“I guess we’d better talk about...well, a lot of things,” she started uncertainly.

“I think so. I wish we’d had more time to talk earlier. I probably should have talked to you some more, instead of knocking you out for most of the flight. Sorry about that.” His voice was light, but his gaze was serious.

“Yeah, about that. Why did you do it? Were you afraid I was going to get away from you on the plane?”

“No, but I didn’t want you to know where we were going to land, or even how long the flight was. It’s safer for you not to know.”

“I hate this whole ‘I can’t tell you or I’ll have to kill you’ thing,” she said with a nervous giggle.

“I do too, but really, Lise, it’s true.”

She waited for him to add, “Not”, or “Just kidding” or something similar, but there was no such relief to be had.

“You’re serious?”

“When am I not serious? I wish I could tell you everything I know about this whole situation, but I really can’t. All I can do is ask you to trust me, and believe me when I tell you something. You can’t argue with me around my father, for instance.”

“I can understand that. Your father scares the wits out of me.”

“You want to know something? Me, too.” Jackson laughed nervously.

“Well, see, we have something in common, after all.” At his puzzled look, she added, “Just trying to look on the bright side of things.”

“Good luck with that. Let me know how it goes.”

They were silent for a few minutes.

“Lise, there’s something I’ve got to tell you before you say anything else. As you may have guessed, my father is a worse control freak than I am.” He smiled. “He doesn’t trust you yet. For that matter, he doesn’t entirely trust me. Or Jonathan, for that matter. He has this distressing habit of eavesdropping on conversations, if he thinks there’s any possibility it might be relevant.”

“Then I hope he’s not listening now,” Lisa suggested nervously.

“I’m about 99% certain he’s not. I think I got all the bugs he planted earlier. He didn’t trust Patricia to tell him everything important. She had to report to him, but please don’t get upset with her. She didn’t have a choice. She didn’t know he was bugging the apartment.”

“Great.” Lisa tried to recall what incriminating things she may have said while Kitten was there.

Jackson cleared his throat. “Worse than that, he has a copy of the tape Jonathan made of your, um, visit to his office.”

“What? Jonathan taped that?” How humiliating! Oh, this can’t be good. “Why?”

“Well, it’s fairly common practice for psychologists and psychiatrists to tape their sessions with patients, though the ethical thing to do is let the patient know. Jonathan isn’t overburdened with ethics, however, as you know.”

“Yeah, I guessed that.” Lisa felt they were treading on very dangerous ground now.

“My father thought I should listen to his copy of the tapes. I don’t think he had time to alter anything, so I guess what I heard is what happened.”

“You listened? I can’t believe it!” At least it can’t get much worse.

“Believe it. Part of me didn’t want to listen, and part of me really needed to hear it. Before you get too upset, I’m well aware of the fact that you were under the influence of some pretty powerful drugs.”

She supposed if he were going to kill her for her almost-indiscretion with Jonathan, he’d have done so already. She nodded, and waited for him to continue.

“I’m sorry for the way things worked out when we first met. I wish I could have just gotten the job done, without your help, and we’d never have met. But that’s not entirely true. It might have been better for you if we’d never met, but not for me. I think you’re beginning to get an idea of why I can’t exactly have a normal relationship, with the usual dating and courtship rituals and all that.”

“You make it sound so romantic,” Lisa giggled.

“That’s probably because I’ve never been too good at that. It seems like a waste of time, if you know nothing long-lasting is going to come from it. Makes more sense to just keep things unemotional, no commitment, no need to even know the other person’s name, just anonymous sex.”

Lisa couldn’t help her natural reaction to that. “It doesn’t really sound like much fun to me.”

“I didn’t say it was fun, I said it makes sense,” Jackson corrected her.

She blushed when she recalled the last time he’d talked about having fun.

He grinned as though he could read her mind. “Yeah, I thought maybe with you it would be more fun, less mechanical. I know this isn’t any kind of conventional relationship, but I think we can make it work for us.”

“Again, not terribly romantic,” Lisa ventured. “Not exactly what every woman wants to hear, you know?”

Jackson sighed, looking away from her. “I guess not. I realize I’m not the type of man you’d choose if you had a choice.” He bit his lip, shifting his body to get more comfortable. “By the way, is Jonathan the kind of guy you’d really want to be with?”

Lisa had no idea how to answer that. ‘Yes’, ‘no’ and ‘maybe’ all chased each other around her head. “I’m not really sure,” she finally answered. “Obviously he’s not at all the man I thought he was. It’s true I’d rather be with someone who’s actually kind and thoughtful, sophisticated, funny and charming.” She looked him directly in the eyes. “But those things could describe you, too, I think. At times.”

“They could,” he agreed, “if I’m around you. I don’t think I could be that way for long around anyone else.”

Now she was getting more uncomfortable. “But if you have to change who you are in order to be what I want you to be, how is that going to work? I don’t want you to try to change, just to please me, and end up resenting me, for ‘making’ you change who you are.”

“So I guess you’ve given this some thought. That’s good.”

She didn’t need or want his approval, but it was still nice to hear.

“But the thing is, Lise, what I’m trying to tell you is I want to change some things. Obviously I can’t change our overall situation, or where we live, or my job. But when we’re together, here, with no one else around, it would be nice to be able to relax. I want to be free to be myself, but I’d also like to find out who I am when I’m with someone I...care about.”

Lisa raised an eyebrow at that admission. She gave it some thought. “I suppose that’s what I want, too. I haven’t been able to trust too easily, either, in the last...almost 5 years. I’ve thrown myself into my job so I don’t have to think too much about how empty my life is outside of it. I don’t want to spend the next 5 years going to bars, drinking alone because I’m too scared to approach a man. Or rejecting every man who’s even slightly interested in me, because it brings up all those memories.”

Jackson nodded as though he understood. “I really hate the fact that anyone made you feel that way. I hate the fact that someone hurt you, physically, mentally, or emotionally.”

“Really?” Lisa hesitated, then took the risk of being honest. “You’ve done all those things to me, too, you know. Not exactly the same, but you’ve hurt me in similar ways.”

He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I’m aware of that.” He opened his eyes and looked at her again. “Lisa, I’m really sorry about the way everything went down. It wasn’t supposed to be like that. It was just supposed to be another job, you were just someone else I needed to blackmail or intimidate in order to get what I needed. I wasn’t supposed to get involved with you emotionally, or care about you in any way. I didn’t want to care.”

“I can understand that.”

“Can you?” He searched her face. “Maybe you can. So, can you tell me why I let my emotions overwhelm my rational side? ‘Cause I sure don’t understand it. I’ve always been calm and in control when I was working, but somehow you really got under my skin.”

Lisa smiled, oddly pleased. “So your fact-based logic doesn’t always get the job done, huh?”

“Not always,” he admitted. “I guess emotion does have more of a place in people’s lives than I’d like to think.”

They were both quiet for a while, lost in their own thoughts.

Lisa finally asked, “So, where does that leave us? Now that you’ve heard all my extremely emotional ramblings, and found out more about my thoughts and feelings than I ever wanted you to know, does that change how you feel about me?” It was important to know that he still cared, even after seeing, or at least hearing, her at her worst.

He shook his head. “No, it doesn’t change my feelings. It made me jealous, I have to admit, and I’m even more pissed at Jonathan than I was, if that’s possible. I guess overall it just makes me feel more protective.”

“I never needed much protection until I met you.” No, that wasn’t true. “Okay, there was that one time. But in general, I can handle different situations without help from...handsome strangers who seem too good to be true.”

“Really? So you actually did like me at first?”

His tone was so hopeful, yet she didn’t want to admit how much she liked him. He had enough advantage over her already. “It kind of scared me how much I wanted to get to know you. So, as usual, I made an excuse and backed off and tried to forget about you. But I saw you again in the restaurant, and you still seemed interested, so I thought I’d take a chance. Everything was fine, great, in fact, till you told me why you were really on the plane.” She was silent, gathering her thoughts. “But I guess you already know all that. You must have heard it all on the tapes.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, but I’d rather have you talk to me now, face to face. I wish things could have been different, but they couldn’t have happened any other way. If I hadn’t been targeting you specifically to help me get to Keefe, and you were just some beautiful woman waiting for the same plane, and we ended up sitting together...nothing would have happened. Nothing could have. I would have had to concentrate on the job, and ignore you as thoroughly as I was trying to ignore that pushy blonde on the plane.”

He smiled, and Lisa laughed at the memory of the woman who’d done everything she could think of to get Jackson’s attention. Her shameless flirting had been irritating at the time, but Jackson had tried to be a gentleman about it. The thought that he might have treated her just the same, pretending to be polite but wishing she’d just shut up or go away, was painful. He wouldn’t have treated her like that, he couldn’t have, because there was something between the two of them that he wouldn’t be able to ignore.

Now, where did that come from? It sounded like something out of a bad romance novel.

“So, you really think you could have ignored me, huh?” she asked lightly.

“I’d certainly have tried. And I probably could have, because I wouldn’t have had all that background on you, the months of surveillance. I’d have seen you as just another very attractive woman I wouldn’t ever be able to have a relationship with, and I really couldn’t have risked a quickie, even though it would have been tempting.”

“Suggesting it wouldn’t have gotten you anywhere. Cute as you are, I’m just not that type of girl,” Lisa teased.

Jackson looked perplexed. “Cute? You think I’m cute?”

“Well, when you smile you’re positively adorable,” she admitted. “But at other times you scare the hell out of me.”

For some reason that seemed to mollify him. “Well, okay then.” He seemed to re-think his words. “I hope you can get over being scared of me, but not to the point that you don’t take me seriously when I tell you to do something.”

“And I hope you realize I don’t like being told what to do, or pushed around, or intimidated, or physically abused or threatened.”

Jackson winced. “Damn, Lisa, you make me sound like some kind of monster.”

“Well, it’s because sometimes you act like one.”

He started to say something, then closed his lips firmly. It looked like several different emotions were rapidly being processed.

“Okay, fair enough. I acted like a real a**hole, okay? I had my reasons, but I guess from your perspective, it looked very different.”

“I don’t want to have to spend the rest of my life being afraid of you, Jackson. Can you understand that?”

‘Yes, I can,” he agreed. “And I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wishing for something that can never be. I don’t want you haunting me, and I don’t want you to leave me.”

Lisa tried to figure that one out. “So do you want me around or not?”

‘Yes, I want you here! I just don’t want to have to constantly worry that you’re going to try to escape.”

“Escape? Yeah, that’s a good one. Where would I go? I noticed you took my ID out of my wallet, and my credit cards. I can’t get very far on $18, but thanks for leaving that.”

He had the grace to blush. “You won’t be needing ID, now that you’re already in the database. You certainly won’t need credit cards.”

“Why not?”

“Where can you use them? It’s not like I can take you out shopping. And, obviously, as you said, you can’t get far with the cash you’ve got.”

“You make it sound like we’re out in the middle of nowhere!” She cleared her throat. “I know you can’t tell me where we are, but are you trying to tell me there are no stores anywhere around?”

“No, there aren’t. There are supplies here, and we can get pretty much whatever we need, but not locally. Please don’t ask me any more questions about that.”

Lisa agreed. “I don’t like the idea of being totally dependent on you, when I’m not even sure I can trust you.”

“Lisa, you can trust me, in every way you can possibly mean it. I want to keep you safe from anybody who might try to hurt you. Even myself, if necessary.”

She wondered how much strength of will that must have taken, to say it, even if he didn’t mean it. But she hadn’t caught him in a lie yet. Why would he start now? He was damned confusing, that was for sure.

[§ilvercell]

I'm lovin' it!

[stormy]

Glad to hear it. The next chapter should be up this weekend.

[winifred]

Its a very interesting story. I just love it.

[stormy]

Great! Glad you like it. Next part is right here.

[stormy]

CHAPTER 13 (Sunday night/Monday 1/8/07)

(Warning for language)

Jackson and Lisa talked late into the night, until Lisa was yawning and couldn’t think straight anymore.

Jackson smiled gently at her. “I’d better let you get to bed. I’m going to take a shower.”

“Are you going to sleep out here? Kitten thinks the sofa bed is comfortable.”

“No she doesn’t. And it isn’t. It’s not meant to be. As much as I...like you, Lisa, and want you to feel comfortable here, I’m not spending the night out here. You need to start trusting me, and this will be a good way to start.”

“I don’t think so!” What the hell was he talking about? The last thing she wanted to do was share a bed with him. Even though she felt more at ease around him, it wasn’t the same thing as trusting him. Yet he’d been there for her when she needed him. He’d gotten her out of that horrible padded room, and away from his psychotic brother. His methods might be questionable, but he really did seem to care about her.

“I don’t want to tell you that you have no choice, but that’s the way it is. I promise you, Lisa, I’m not going to...I don’t know, take advantage of you. I might be a lot of things, I might even be most of the worst things you think about me, but I am not a rapist.”

She could feel the sincerity radiating from him. Yes, she did believe he was telling the truth about that. But still, sharing the same bed didn’t seem like a safe idea. Not at all. Yet she couldn’t say she wasn’t flattered by his interest.

“I didn’t think you were. It just doesn’t seem like a good idea for us to sleep in the same bed unless...without, you know...it might be hard...difficult for you to...not to – um, oh, damn!”

He laughed, a delightful sound. “I have a lot of self-discipline, in many areas of my life, Lise. You don’t have to worry about it. Listen, if you really feel that strongly about it, I’ll sleep out here tonight. But you’re going to have to get used to the idea sooner or later. I’d rather it be sooner.”

“Just give me some time, and some space, okay? This is a lot to absorb all at once, you know.”

“I know. Okay, I’ll take that shower now, then spend the night out here. If you’re sure you won’t be scared to be alone.”

“I’ve been sleeping alone for a long time now.” That didn’t come out right. “I’m sure I can manage.”

He shrugged. “Fine. Let me know if you change your mind.”

“I won’t, but I will.” Why am I so incoherent tonight? I mean, I won’t change my mind, but I’ll let you know if I do.”

“Peachy.”

Lisa got up quickly and headed towards the bedroom.

“Hey, Lise, let me get some stuff first. I don’t want to disturb you tomorrow morning when I get ready for work.”

“Sure.” She stepped aside and watched him take some clothes from the bureau and closet.

“Good night, Lisa. If I’m gone when you wake up, don’t panic. I’ll be back around noon for an hour or so, and we can talk then.”

“Okay. Um, sleep well.”

Lisa thought she’d be awake for the rest of the night, with so many things on her mind. Her overall exhaustion took over, however, and she was asleep before Jackson finished his shower.

<><><><><><><><>

Jackson resisted the temptation to check on Lisa. She deserved some privacy, and some space, as she requested. He didn’t think she was unreasonable, but he’d hoped it wouldn’t take this long for her to get used to the idea of being with him, and all that entailed. Maybe he’d expected too much too soon, but what did he have for comparison? He’d never had a problem finding agreeable women to spend an evening with (never an entire night), but this concept of waiting until she was ready to have sex...well, that would be a test of his self-discipline.

Unfortunately Patricia had already stripped the sheets off the sofa bed to be laundered, so he had to get the only other set of sheets he had. By the time he got the bed opened up and added the sheets and a blanket, he was starting to realize just how exhausted he was. This whole recognizing and expressing emotions thing was hard work. No wonder so many of Jonathan’s patients seemed like zombies; well, being overly emotional and being drugged to the gills and having their heads messed with by a psychopathic psychiatrist who saw them all as overgrown lab rats. He shivered, and pulled the covers tighter around him.

He finally slept, but only fitfully. For some reason, he kept having the same nightmares he’d had when he was first introduced to Jonathan’s version of psychotherapy. The drugs, the endless questions, the humiliation, the padded room, the straitjacket; they were all back, keeping him company once again in his dreams.

Lisa seemed to be sleeping with similar demons herself; her shrill scream woke him from a particularly unpleasant memory-dream. He was out of bed and at her side almost before he realized he was awake.

She was mumbling incoherently and thrashing around in the sheets.

“Hey, Lisa, it’s okay. You’re just having a nightmare.” He reached out a hand to stroke her hair, and she flung an arm up to knock his hand away. “Okay, fine, I get the message,” he muttered. He raised his voice. “Lisa, wake up!”

She gasped and opened her eyes.

“It’s all right, Lise, it’s just me.”

“Just you?” she muttered. “Which one are you?”

“Jackson,” he explained patiently. “Even half-asleep you should be able to tell us apart. We don’t look that much alike.”

“Yes, you do,” she argued petulantly. She blinked a few times, then seemed to be fully awake. “What are you doing in here?”

“Trying to save you from some horrible nightmare, I guess. Unless seeing me in here is a worse nightmare?” he added uncertainly.

“No, no, thanks. I’m glad you woke me up. Sorry if I woke you up.”

He shrugged. “I wasn’t sleeping that well, either.”

“Oh. Too much on your mind?”

“Well, yeah, and I was having a few nightmares, too.”

“You have nightmares?” She looked adorably surprised. Her hair was tousled and her face flushed from sleep. “I wouldn’t think bad dreams would dare haunt you.”

“Heh, I wish. I guess I’ll go out and try to get a little more sleep.” He started to turn away, but she reached out and touched his hand.

“Um, are you okay out there? Are you warm enough?”

“Not really,” he answered candidly. “It’s cold tonight.”

“Oh. Well, if it would maybe help you get to sleep, uh, keep you from having nightmares, or at least so you don’t freeze to death, I guess there’s enough room here for both of us.”

He didn’t give her a chance to change her mind. “Okay, then. Scoot over.”

She realized he was wearing a pair of loose-fitting sweat pants, with no t-shirt or top. No wonder he was cold. Then she saw the scars from bullets she and her father had shot into him.

"I'm sorry for shooting you" didn't seem quite adequate. She decided the next day would be soon enough to deal with her guilt, when he wasn't so close.

She moved to the far side of the bed, and he quickly took her place.

“Good night,” she called over her shoulder, turning her back to him.

Well, at least we’re making some progress.

It was actually being chilled, and not his hormones, that drove Jackson to snuggle up to Lisa, wrapping himself around her.

To his pleased surprise, she only put up a token protest, muttering something incomprehensible. Her body tensed, then relaxed. His arm was around her waist, and she moved her own arm till it was over his, trapping his arm against her body. He had no objection to that. She wriggled a bit, trying to get comfortable, and he bit his lip in frustration. He wanted them both to be comfortable, but he didn’t want to push his luck. When she finally settled down, he didn’t dare move a muscle. How the hell do I get myself in these awkward situations with her? How am I supposed to get any sleep at all?

However, they both slept, and got through the night without any more nightmares.

<><><><><><><><>

The next morning Jackson woke the same time he always did on days he had to work. He’d learned long ago how to set his internal alarm clock so he didn’t need to worry about a mechanical one. This morning it was particularly difficult to drag himself out of bed, and away from Lisa. For just a couple more minutes he luxuriated in the warm weight of her body against his, then realized he’d better move quickly, before he startled her awake.

He dressed in the other room, had a quick breakfast, then left early to go to work. He had a lot to do to get caught up with the time he’d missed, and he still had a few things to do before Lisa could start working with him. The morning passed by quickly as he sorted through the accumulated paperwork and messages. A few minutes before 9:00 he went to see Jon. It was time to welcome him into the family. Poor bastard.

<><><><><><><><>

As much as Jon hated the bizarre place he found himself in, he had to admit it was quite pleasant to be shaved by an attractive nurse. He flirted with her, though he didn’t really think anything would happen. The poor girl was rather flustered, and went from giggling to blushing, then she told him to shush. He supposed he should just let her do her job.

By the time he returned to his room, showered and wearing a clean set of hospital clothes, an orderly brought in a tray and stood by to watch him as he ate. It was a bit unnerving, but he supposed they had to be careful. For all they knew he was a dangerous, violent bloke who might use all of his 120 pounds to try to overpower the 200-lb orderly.

By the time Jackson showed up, Jon was in a fairly decent mood, all things considered. At least he felt more clear-headed than on the previous day. It might have been his imagination, but it looked like Jackson was in a much better mood, too.

Jackson instructed the orderly to unfasten the straps holding Jon down.

“Dr. Crane said he should be restrained, sir.”

“I don’t give a damn what he said. I’m telling you to let him up.”

“But –“

”Fine. I’ll do it.”

“But Dr. Crane said –“

”I’ll take full responsibility,” Jackson sighed. “Just get out of here.”

“But sir, I can’t leave –“

”Yes, you can. Now get out.”

Jon couldn’t see Jackson, but he could hear his tone of voice. He shivered, and he wasn’t even the one all that anger was directed at.

“I’ll have to report this to –“

‘I don’t think you need to bother.” Jackson looked at the camera in the corner and made the American version of the rude gesture Jon had tried the day before. Nothing happened, and Jon realized he’d been holding his breath.

The orderly left in a huff and they were finally alone.

“You’re not going to give me any trouble, are you?” Jackson asked, with the lift of one eyebrow.

Jon shook his head. “No way.” He waited while Jackson impatiently unfastened all the various straps.

“Goddamn sadistic bastard. I don’t know why he has to – There you go.”

Jackson sounded almost happy, though Jon couldn’t figure out why.

“You can sit up if you want to.” He raised the front of the bed, allowing Jon to sit comfortably. Jackson leaned against the wall, looking at him curiously.

Recalling Jackson’s words of the previous day, Jon decided it would be better to wait for Jackson to say something, instead of asking any questions.

“So, do you have any idea at all why you’re here?” Jackson finally asked.

Now who's asking the stupid questions?

“Because this is where the judge sent me.” Is this some kind of trick question? He’s got to know more about this than I do.

“Yes,” Jackson said, in a tone of great patience. “What else have you figured out?”

Does he think I’m an idiot? “It doesn’t quite seem to be as advertised. I recall my solicitor saying I’d be in a locked facility, but I’d have some freedom inside it.”

“Right. That’s if you were at another facility.”

How can I find out without asking... “I can’t help wondering if my solicitor knows exactly where I am.”

Jackson grinned at him, obviously seeing through his clever ploy. “He thinks he does.”

Oh. That’s the trouble with asking questions. Sometimes you don’t like the answers.

“Okay, I’ll tell you a few things,” Jackson relented. “We went to a lot of trouble to make sure we could bring you here. Whether this turns out to be the best place for you, well, we won’t know that for a while. But, as in so many bureaucracies, what Management wants is what it deems best for its own interests.”

Jon nodded. That was a concept he could understand.

“So, for your own good,” Jackson enunciated clearly, “you’re going to go through a rather intense course of psychotherapy. At the end of it, you should have a different attitude, and hopefully you won’t still want to kill yourself.” Or maybe you’ll be desperate to die.

“Um, if it’s all the same to you, I really don’t want to kill myself now. Never did, really. Like I told the judge, I just don’t want to live.”

“In that case, I’m sure the therapy will emphasize giving you some motivation to live.”

For a sales pitch, it wasn’t that encouraging. It didn’t sound like Jackson was fully behind what he was selling.

“There’s another thing you need to know. You’ve probably noticed a slight resemblance between us.”

“Yeah,” Jon admitted cautiously. “I see some similarity.”

“I guess I can see it, too,” Jackson agreed. “You look a bit like I did when I was your age. There’s a real good reason for that.”

“What, I’m your long-lost brother or something? Don’t think so,” Jon said, attempting to sound flippant. His stomach was clenching in fear, though he couldn’t say why.

“Actually, that’s exactly what you are. The parents who raised you weren’t your birth parents.”

Jon swore. As a practical joke, this was missing something called humor.

“Yeah, I know how it sounds. But it’s true. If you want, I can show you the results of all the medical tests, and all the similarities to my tests, but it would be better if you’d just take my word for it.”

Jon had no idea what to say to that. It was a lot to take in.

“So my parents, my brother Mikey...they’re not really related to me?”

“They adopted you at birth. Your brother has no idea.”

“But why? I don’t understand.” Help me understand.

“It’s kind of complicated. I think I’d better let Father explain that part of it.”

“What, my real father?”

“Yes. Gregory Dunbar.”

“Never heard of him. Just glad you didn’t say Darth Vader.”

“You should be so lucky,” Jackson muttered. “Anyway, Father will be here soon to talk to you. You’ll also meet your psychiatrist, Dr. Jonathan Crane. He’s the reason we’re calling you Jon, by the way. Too awkward having two Jonathans in the family.”

Jon shook his head. “I don’t give a damn about that. So why did he name both of us– Wait, you mean my shrink is also my brother, or uncle, or cousin or something?“ He really hoped it was all a sick practical joke, though Jackson didn’t seem the type for it.

”He didn’t name you. Your adoptive parents did. Jonathan is your older brother, my younger brother.”

“That seems...that’s just too weird. Can’t I get another psychiatrist?”

“No. He’s not the only one here, but he’s the only one who treats family.”

Jon closed his eyes and slumped down a bit in the bed. “This is just exactly the type of thing to drive a person crazy, you know.”

“Believe me, I know.” Is that sympathy? No, can’t be.

“Have you met Patricia yet?”

“Who? Oh, yeah, the blonde nurse? Don’t tell me she’s my sister!”

Jackson smiled nervously. “Not exactly. Do you know what a transvestite is?”

“Yeah, it’s a guy who dresses up as – Oh.”

“Patricia, also known as Kitten, also known as Patrick, is also your brother. Younger than Jonathan, but still a few years older than you.”

“Fantastic. This is so confusing!”

“I understand your frustration, believe me, I do.” Jackson cleared his throat. “Once you’re been...rehabilitated again, and are more motivated to live, Father or Jonathan will find something for you to do, some job you’ll probably be good at, and enjoy, too.”

“They’ve got their work cut out for them.” Jon had never felt so betrayed. He hadn’t always loved his parents, but he was used to them, like he was used to Mikey. How could they have lied to him like this? It wasn’t f*cking fair.

“They’re actually pretty good at that. I’m sure you’re having a hard time taking all this in, and I know it doesn’t seem fair, but you know what? Life doesn’t f*cking care what you think is fair. And neither does Management, which translates into our father.”

“So who the hell is he when he’s at home?” Jon growled.

“God, as far as anyone here is concerned. He brought you into this world, and he won’t hesitate to take you out. So you’d better get one thing straight really fast. Don’t argue with him. Call him ‘sir’, he likes that. And you can be as sarcastic as you like around me, but don’t even think about it with him. He hates it when people aren’t respectful to him.”

Jon swore, and Jackson listened patiently.

“That’s right, get it out of your system now. But don’t talk like that around Father. He’ll take it the wrong way.”

After another healthy round of swearing, which Jackson seemed to agree with, he cut short the next stream of curses when Jon paused to take a breath.

“They’ll be here any minute. Sorry, but I’ve got to get you back into these straps.”

Jon allowed the indignity, seething with anger.

The door opened, and Jackson introduced Jon to his new-found father and brother, then left him to their tender mercies.

[Gobby]

oooh oooh!!!
i love it..!
i think i like jon the best...
haha it is confusing...Jackson, Crane, Kitten, Jonathan
oy

[stormy]

Thanks! There was another one in there, too, briefly mentioned a few chapters back, who will show up again.

This story actually started with Jon, and was going to be mostly from his POV. He's my favorite character, though you might not realize it from the story. I changed the order of some chapters, then Jackson kind of took control of the story and decided he would be the main character. It's pretty hard to tell him, "No, sorry, dear, it's not all about you."

[britt]

woot! write more soon!

[stormy]

I'm hoping Ch. 14 will be ready to post sometime tomorrow. It's mostly written, but I need to add a bit more.

[stormy]

CHAPTER 14

Shortly before Jackson was going to go home on his lunch break, Jonathan knocked on his open office door.

Jackson looked up and sighed. “What do you want?”

“We need to talk,” Jonathan said.

“No, we don’t.”

“Yes, we do. We shouldn’t be at each other’s throats like this. It might be better if we tried to get along.”

“Why?” he asked automatically. Then he saw that Jonathan was uncharacteristically nervous.

“Because it just makes logical sense. Neither of us need any additional stress, right?”

“True.” He glanced at his watch. “I’m sorry, but I was just on my way out. Lisa’s expecting me home soon.”

“Why don’t I walk with you, and we can talk on the way.”

Jackson shrugged. “Fine.”

He couldn’t help wondering exactly what was going on. When he saw they were headed toward one of the few exits outside the building, he thought he had a clue.

The guard at the door recognized both of them, and let them through without a scan. They both breathed deeply. Neither of them went outside often, but Jonathan at least had a view, and Jackson occasionally had official reasons to leave.

They talked as they walked along the flagstone path.

Jonathan cleared his throat. “By the way, I wanted to apologize again about Lisa. I really did think I was helping you out. I wasn’t really trying to get her to have sex with me.”

“You could have fooled me.”

“And her, too.” Jonathan grinned. “But she’s really not my type. I’m glad she makes you happy, though.”

“So who, exactly, is your type?”

“I’ll let you know when I meet her.”

“Good luck finding anyone here.”

“Oh, I don’t know...” Jonathan’s voice trailed off uncertainly.

“You went way too far, though, in locking her up.”

“But it did seem to work in breaking down some of her resistance to you.”

Jackson bit his lip, trying to think before he spoke. “I guess I appreciate the thought, but I think I could have managed that on my own, in a gentler way.”

Jonathan raised an eyebrow. “Maybe I did a better job with your therapy than I thought. You really aren’t just using her, then?”

“No, you idiot. I – sorry, Jonathan. Reflex.”

Jonathan accepted the apology.

“The thing is, I really do care about her. I want her to be happy here. I don’t want her be unhappy and hate her life.”

Jonathan asked bitterly, “Why should she be any different than the rest of us?”

“Why should we all have to be so miserable?” Jackson countered. “Why can’t we try to make things a little better for ourselves?”

“At least you have her to help make things better. But that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. None of us exactly love the way our lives are being run.” Jonathan looked around, in justifiable paranoia, then lowered his voice, though no one was in sight. “I think you and I both want more freedom from him.”

Jackson didn’t ask who Jonathan was talking about. He would have preferred to take Lisa some place far, far away from there, but there was no place far enough his father couldn’t track them down. He hated feeling that trapped, manipulated and controlled.

“So? Do you have any useful suggestions?”

“I’m working on it.”

Jackson shook his head. “Let me know when you have a plan.”

“You’re the one who comes up with elaborate plans for...situations,” Jonathan protested.

Jackson raised an eyebrow, and a slow smile spread across his face. “Are you suggesting...”

Jonathan bit his lip. “I’m not suggesting anything, except that you might give some thought to our mutual problem.”

“And Kitten’s problem, and Jon’s. And –“

”All the more reason we need to come up with something, because they won’t.”

Jackson crossed his arms and stared at his brother until Jonathan looked away.

“I’ll give it some thought. But I want you to explain something to me first. Why does Jon need therapy? He seems to be pretty okay. I don’t think he was really suicidal, maybe just trying to get attention.”

Jonathan shook his head. “No, he needs help. Therapy,” he added.

“I don’t see why. He’s not violent, that I’ve seen.”

“But you know he’s got that potential. From what I’ve seen in his records, he’s at the very least a troublemaker.”

“So which of us isn’t?”

“Violent or a troublemaker?”

They both thought about it a minute.

“Patricia isn’t violent,” they agreed simultaneously.

“Dunno what happened there,” Jackson laughed, “but I think she got all the compassionate genes, that all the rest of us lack.”

“They’re not lacking in you, you’ve just been blocking them. Until I helped you get access to them again.”

Jackson didn’t like the smug look on his brother’s face, or his tone, or the words.

“It’s not due to you. It’s Lisa.”

“Maybe it started with her, before we got hold of you, but don’t you think getting in touch with your own fear is what unleashed some of those...what does Father call them...unhealthy emotions?”

“So in his eyes you did more harm than good. Yeah, good going, Jonathan.”

He shrugged. “It was an experiment. It had some good results.”

“So he didn’t blame you?”

Jonathan hesitated. There was a look Jackson had rarely seen in his eyes.

“You know how Father feels about making mistakes.”

Jackson winced in sympathy. “So what type of punishment did you get?”

“You don’t want to know. But I’m not blaming you. Father will never admit to you that any of it was my fault. He prefers to blame it on Lisa, since she’s an outsider.”

“I’ve noticed that.”

“But getting back to Jon...”

“Yes, let’s do.” By all means let’s get away from your problems, “Dr.” Jon.

“He is our father’s son.”

“So?”

“Haven’t you noticed we’re all just a little bit f***ed up?”

Jackson laughed. “Yeah, I had noticed that. And we’ve all f*cked up royally, one way or another, as far as he’s concerned. I don’t know, though, if it’s a good idea for you to try to rehabilitate someone who’s relatively mentally healthy to begin with.”

“But Jon isn’t. He’s depressed. He needs medication.”

“No, he needs a reason to live. There’s a big difference there.”

“You’re not a professional in the mental health field,” Jonathan reminded him.

Thank God. “The kid just needs to find a purpose in life, a reason to stick around, that’s all. Maybe he just needs to find a pretty girl, fall in love, have something like a normal life.”

“Do you really think that’s possible, here?”

“Oh. Good point.” For a moment he’d forgotten Jon wouldn’t have the option of going back to the outside world and meeting someone suitable. Anyone he met inside would likely have more problems than he did.

“Besides, I don’t have any choice.”

“Sure you do. You’re the only one Father listens to. Well, about treatment and things like that.”

“Again, because I’m the professional in that area. He wants Jon to have therapy, and everyone else has been through it, so...”

“What about you? Did you do your own therapy?”

“No.” Jonathan winced. “Dad did. And believe me, he doesn’t have the finesse I do.”

Jackson shuddered. He now had an idea of the type of punishment...no, rehabilitation Jonathan may have gone through.

“Well, here we are, this is pretty close to your place. I’ll walk back.”

Jackson didn’t blame him a bit for wanting to stay outside as long as possible. He reflected that it was one of the most polite and civilized conversations they’d had in the time they’d known each other.

<><><><><><><><>

Lisa stared at the clock on the microwave again. It was a whole minute later than the last time she’d looked. 12:04. Jackson seemed like the type of guy who was very punctual, so why was he late? She tried to relax. He’d said “around noon”. Maybe he was caught up in his work, whatever it was, and didn’t notice the time.

It was stupid to be concerned, anyway. Maybe he wasn’t going to come home for lunch. Maybe he’d forgotten what he told her and was working through his lunch hour. That was probably it. He was probably the kind of guy who got so involved in his work that he didn’t always take proper care of himself. Well, maybe she could help him with that.

She looked at the clock again. Still 12:04. Maybe there was something wrong with...nope, 12:05. Lisa sighed and tried to go back to her book. Should she fix something for them? Sandwiches, maybe? She started looking through the cupboards and refrigerator, trying to recall all the things she’d seen there the day before. The selection was depressingly small. They’d have to go to the grocery store and... Damn. No grocery store. Wherever it was that he got supplies, then. She should make a list.

She’d made three sandwiches and had a pretty good start on her list when a blinking red light over the door caught her eye. She automatically tensed, wondering who might walk through the door.

As soon as she saw Jackson she smiled at him, walked over and gave him a hug when he was barely inside the room.

He hugged her in return, but looked at her a trifle suspiciously. “Lise, are you all right?”

“I’m fine. Just happy to see you.”

“Really?” His eyebrows practically disappeared under his bangs. “That’s a pleasant surprise.” He noticed the plate of sandwiches.

“Aw, you made lunch? That was sweet of you.”

She shrugged. “No big deal.”

He took off his suit jacket. “Looks good.”

“So, what’s with the red light for the door?”

“It’s Father’s idea of a concession. He’s reactivated it, so I at least have a little bit more warning when he or Jonathan come in.”

He glanced at the clock. “Ah, I’m sorry I’m late. Professional consultation.” He asked her how she’d spent her day, but not in an annoyingly inquisitive way. It was more like he wanted to keep her from asking about his day. She didn’t have much to tell him, certainly nothing interesting.

She showed him the list she’d made. “Is there any way you can get some of these things?”

He studied the piece of paper. “Sure, no problem. I’m used to heating up the stuff I’ve got in the freezer, but I can get whatever you want. Within reason.”

She blinked. “Within what reason? Er, how do I know what’s reasonable?”

“Hm, I’ll just cross anything off that I can’t get. Mostly, though, I mean things like newspapers, magazines, anything that could be used as a weapon...”

She hoped he was teasing about the last part.

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

He gave the list back. “Go ahead and add whatever you can think of. Anything I can’t get here I’ll try to bring back next time I’m – The next time I have to go on a trip somewhere.”

“Any idea when that will be?”

“No idea. I might not get much notice, and I might occasionally be gone a lot longer than I was the last time. I’ll give you as much advance notice as I can, though.”

“Is there any way to keep in touch while you’re gone?”

He shook his head regretfully. “No. I’ll have Patricia check on you now and then, though. If there’s anything really urgent, she can let Father know, and he can contact me.”

“Well, then, let’s hope nothing urgent comes up.” She tried to keep a bright smile on her face. “Can we talk some more about me working for you?” she finally asked.

He grinned. “I was hoping you’d want to.”

“Okay, all right, you were right. I’m bored just waiting for you to come home.”

“After half a day? Wow, you must have really missed me.”

She had. It hurt her pride a bit to admit it, but she was starting to really enjoy his company.

“Tell you what. Tomorrow you can come in with me in the morning and I’ll explain more about what you’ll be doing. I’ll still be doing most of the paperwork, because a lot of it is confidential, but I’d like to get your input on some other things.”

“Sure, I’ll be happy to help. Of course, the more I know about the job, the easier it will be to do it correctly.”

He agreed. “I’ll tell you everything it’s safe to know, tomorrow.”

She was surprised how quickly the time advanced, and too soon he had to go back to work. As much as she hated to ask, she had to.

“What time should I expect you home?”

He hesitated. “It’s supposed to be pretty much 8:00 to 5:00, but I can’t always leave right on time. If I’m in the middle of something important, I have to finish it. Sometimes I have to talk to various patients, try to settle disputes between employees, all sorts of things.”

“So you’re still a manager, of sorts?”

“Yeah, that part of the job is more like your kind of management.” Don’t ask about the rest.

“Okay, then I can totally understand how time can get away from you.”

“I’ll try to be here soon after 5:00, but if I’m not, don’t worry.”

“When should I worry?”

“Just don’t. Everything will be fine. I’ve got to go.” He kissed her quickly and was out the door before she could ask for another kiss.

What the hell am I thinking? I don’t want him to kiss me. Well, I do, but I shouldn’t. He’s still... No, damn it, he’s not the same man I knew before. At least it’s an improvement.

[stormy]

I'm editing Ch. 15, so it should be up by tonight.