Grow your Own Cillian Kit Manual *Updated 2-18!!*

[c.m.ismyxanatos]

I just had to write this. The idea wouldn't go away. Hopefully soon I will also be making a mock kit. Stormy helped me with the writing, and nanuk made the lovely photos gracing the chapters. Thanks guys!!! *sends much love*

This is the first chap. There will be more. Enjoy!
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Grow your Own Cillian Kit Instruction Manual



So, you finally got your Grow Your Own Cillian kit. Congratulations!!!

However, now you are staring at the small plant box we gave you and wondering what to do with it. “How will a full grown man come out of this little box?” you may wonder. Or perhaps you are thinking, “Do I get a refund if something goes wrong?” Well, worry no more. Because I am going to tell you right here, in your very own Cillian manual, not only how to grow a happy, healthy Cillian, but how to care for him properly after you have him.

Chapter 1: Where do I start?

First of all, do you have everything? Please check off list-

One Planter [ ]
One Cillian Seed [ ]
A Sunny Place to put Cillian [ ]
Endless Obsession for all Things Cillian [ ]
A Lot of Love to Give your Cillian [ ]
A LOT of patience…No, I mean it. A lot. [ ]

Do you have it all? Then let’s begin. First, dig a small hole with your index finger, trying to allow space but leaving breathing room in the soil. Cillians need lots of room to grow. Gently place Cillian seed inside before covering the hole again. Do not pack dirt down. We don’t want poor little Cillian to suffocate, do we?

Now, water liberally till soil is quite damp, but do not drown. Place Cillian Kit in a sunny window ledge. Cillians need lots of sunlight for their eyes, or they won‘t be as bright. Remember: the more sunlight your Cillian gets, the brighter his eyes will be. Don’t worry though, they will be the same charismatic blue either way.

Now wait. Yes, I said wait. I told you you’d need lots and lots of patience, and besides, good things come to all those who…*insert screams of angry Cillian fans* Uh…I’m guessing you don’t want to know that your Cillian takes 28 Days to grow? *more screaming* Oh *censored*….The Infected!!! They‘re after me!! Help me, Jim! *runs away*



To be continued…

[aurora10]

BRILLIANT.

[stormy]

Love it!

[c.m.ismyxanatos]

Next chap! Thanks again to nanuk and stormy. Can't give you guys Cillian bars fast enough.



Chapter 2: Nothing is happening!

All right, now that everyone is calm once again, let’s continue. You have placed Cillian on his ledge and are watering him twice a day, but nothing is happening. You are beginning to wonder if you have a defective kit and if you should call our 1-800 help number. Please do not panic. It is perfectly normal for this to take some time. You will actually probably not see the beginnings of your Cillian for a week. If you go 9 days without seeing some dark hair sprouting out, THEN you should call.

After 5 days, you should find a safe place to transfer your Cillian. He will need much more room to grow than he has in the planter, but there have been reports of Cillians being stolen from people’s lawns, so try to put him somewhere where he will not be noticed as much…especially if you are married or currently have a boyfriend. Cillians do not grow well under hostile situations. It is very sad to see them damaged, so please protect your Cillian from potential aggressors. At least till he's grown enough to defend himself.

Once you find that place, go out and continue to water him. Feel free to talk to your Cillian. You may not be able to see him yet, but he can hear your voice, and the more love you give him, the more he will have to give back when he grows big and strong. It doesn’t matter what you talk about, but try to avoid heavy topics, such as earthquakes, floods, Frankenstein pens, accidents at discos, convertible crashes, or the eating of meat. Your Cillian is very vulnerable at this time and you don’t want to traumatize him. We cannot emphasize enough how important it is for your Cillian to be happy and healthy. Remember, a traumatized Cillian will cost you vast amounts of money in therapy, but be very careful who you send him to. Some owners have reportedly sent him to a Dr. Crane, but Crane is known widely for acting unethically when treating siblings…or when not, for that matter.

Allow two more days, and then move on to the next chapter. By then you should be seeing something poking out of the ground!

[stormy]

Ha! This manual is great! Love the new sig, too! I'm thinking there might be a lot of chapters to this manual (hint, hint).

[aurora10]

cmismyxanatos said:

Feel free to talk to your Cillian. You may not be able to see him yet, but he can hear your voice, and the more love you give him, the more he will have to give back when he grows big and strong. It doesn’t matter what you talk about, but try to avoid heavy topics, such as earthquakes, floods, Frankenstein pens, accidents at discos, convertible crashes, or the eating of meat. Your Cillian is very vulnerable at this time and you don’t want to traumatize him.

That's my favorite part. lmfao This is great stuff.

[scotsrockgod]

This is so funny! Wow!

[teh one]

OMG this is crazy! ;D LOVE IT

[c.m.ismyxanatos]

YAY, PEOPLE LIKE IT!!! *does happy dance* I'll try to make another chapter on Friday, I have finals the next two days. Nanuk, you will be hearing from me. Thanks all, I really appreciate it!!!

[teh one]

Its ok,, good luck and now i better go, I just wanted to change my signature lol! see ya soon!

[blue-eyed struck]

LMAO! You are going all out with this, aren't you?

*Quotes Shannon*

-draws Cillian's attention to this thread-

Here, Cillian, you have subject B.

Another Female. Hormonal. Obsessor. Cillian Kit Creator.

*Evil Laugh*

[c.m.ismyxanatos]

HEY!!! *laughs hysterically* Man, that is crazy. But hey, he'd have enough sense to just laugh, right? *crickets* Right?

[blue-eyed struck]

RIIIIIIIIGGGHHHT!!

lol! J/K

[c.m.ismyxanatos]

he. *rubs neck self-conciously* I can dream.

So anyhoo, more on Friday. I will go away now.

I HAVE 20 CILLIAN BARS WHOOHOOO!!! Thank you whoever ahs been giving them to me!

[ciaran]

lmao, absolutely brilliant. Yeah anyone taking the time to create a manual for the grow your own cillian kit is definitely obsessed in my book, lol.