Post by emma286 on Oct 19, 2009 14:40:36 GMT -5
Heya everyone. 
This is the beginning of a short story fan fiction that I'm currently in the process of putting together. I will mention here that I realise it's far from perfect, as it's still fairly rough and still needs further editing. But still thought I'd put it up here anyways just to see what people thought. Also if anyone feels that there's any particular way it could be improved and would like to offer any constructive comments on how they think it could be, then please feel free! Any helpful feedback will go greatly appreciated.
Anyways hope that you guys enjoy the read! However if not, then I can always delete this at a later stage:
Disclaimer: I'm making no profit from this story and all character rights belong to the creator of the original work.
It didn’t occur to Cynthia right away that anything was wrong, when catching her first glimpse of the dark-haired man in the grey business suit, through the glass of the Lux Atlantic Hotel’s entrance doors opposite the reception desk where she sat. Neither would this idea occur to her for roughly the next fifteen minutes or so. Possibly it never would have for the remainder of her evening shift, if not for the unexpected incident that followed.
It happened as Cynthia slowly reached for the nearly overflowing cup of black coffee standing at her left elbow. The fingers of her other hand continued to tap away at the buttons of the keyboard before her. Her eyes stayed glued to the computer screen above – as she tightened her grip on the white plastic cup…
“AHH!” she cried out, as her left arm and hand jerked seemingly of their own accord; sending dark-brown liquid gushing over the cups rim and desk surface as the surrounding lights abruptly blinked off – plunging her into sudden darkness.
Oh my god! Not another power cut!
Initially, it seemed to Cynthia that things stayed that way for several minutes. However, luckily for her, it was a mere few seconds before everything flicked on again as swiftly as it had done the opposite – bathing the ground floor area in familiar white light again. The young receptionist let out a deep breath of relief, glad that there appeared to be no need to worry about being unable to finish the urgent guest bill system updates that had to be completed before she left work (the previous power cut had happened only the day before and had lasted for hours at the time).
Still, this newly acquired feeling of reassurance wasn’t to last long. As Cynthia slowly became aware of the sight of the sodden dripping wooden surface in front of her, she realised that she had an entirely new problem staring her in the face.
“Oh no!” she wailed, eyes widening in shock. “Look what I’ve done! I need to go get something to clean this all up with…but I can’t just leave the front desk!”
She helplessly looked around the interior of the empty ground floor lobby. What was she going to do? None of the receptionist’s were supposed to leave the area deserted! Of course, it rarely happened that Cynthia was ever left completely alone. But this week the hotel had been unusually short staffed. The ground floor security guard was currently patrolling a couple of other areas of the building tonight, so wasn’t about right now. Henry, the new doorman who’d joined just a couple of weeks ago, had (not unpredictably) done one of his disappearing acts without telling anybody where he was going first (Cynthia had recently considered, more than once, mentioning this to somebody, though she wasn’t generally one to rat on others). Normally, again, Tracy – one of the other receptionists – would have been sharing her shift. But she’d had to leave work early because of a family emergency that had come up, so for now Cynthia was managing the front desk by herself.
She sighed heavily, closing her eyes for a few seconds, as thoughts of how different the situation would be if Lisa Reisert, her manager (as well as one of her closest friends) didn’t happen to be absent flitted through her mind. Not that she meant to knock the new acting manager (temporarily covering for Lisa until her return from annual leave). But it hadn’t taken Cynthia long to notice that the replacement lacked both the extent of experience and sense of job dedication that Lisa possessed in the hotel management field. She knew if Lisa had been around, there would have been a ninety five percent chance of her successfully finding last minute extra staff cover – or else would have been chipping in and helping to man the reception desk herself. Not the new person though! She’d simply waltzed out of her office earlier at lunchtime, smilingly informed Cynthia on her way out of the building that she wouldn’t be back again till Monday and would have her phone switched off for the rest of the day, and had then left.
The young receptionist opened her eyes again, her face dropping at the memory.
“Oh Leese!” she groaned aloud. “I sure wish you were here right now instead of on vacation in Texas! I know it's mean of me... But you're the one who always holds everything together! When you're not around things always start to fall apart..."
It was then that Cynthia abruptly became aware of the warm, but moist, sensation seeping its way through the thin white material covering her upper thighs. Gasping, her gaze shot to – what she already knew now to be – the brown splattered skirt of her dress.
“sh*t!” she wailed again, cringing inside at the thought of what a mess she must look. “Some of it must’ve gotten on me when I wasn’t looking! Jeez, I can’t stay here like this! I have no choice! I’ll have to quickly use the ladies across the way and let the answer machine pick up any calls that come through while I’m gone!”
Jumping up from her seat, Cynthia hurriedly began to make her way across the expanse of ivory marble floor that stretched between the front desk area and her intended location; the low heels of her black shoes clattering against the hard surface beneath them as she did so. As she began to move, her gaze automatically shifted forward towards the quadruple entrance doors opposite. It would have no doubt drifted on to the right, in unison with her body, if not for something in the distance that caught her attention at that moment.
Wait a minute! Who’s that standing outside? Could that be a guest or visitor?
She slowed her steps, coming to a stand-still just a few metres away from where the dark silhouette stood before her. Frowning slightly, she strained her eyes in an attempt to make out more; all thoughts of the spilled coffee, and the risk she’d taken of getting into trouble for abandoning the reception area, temporarily forgotten. A few more seconds passed, before further realization struck.
Hey, that’s the same guy I noticed a few minutes ago! I remember now, he was out there just before I spilled my drink. I recognise the grey suit! But…
She bit nervously at her lower lip; as yet another thought hit her.
There’s something different about him now…something I didn’t see before. That’s what made me stop to look!
The man continued to stand where he was – unmoving. From this distance away it was difficult for Cynthia to tell much about his face as, along with the rest of his upper body, it was mostly cloaked in shadow. She frowned, trying to work out what it was about him that had obviously changed – yet was being so slow to come to mind.
He was walking around before! Not just standing there that way. I assumed he had to be a guest who’d just checked out and was waiting to grab one of the hotel taxi’s…but it’s not just that…
The answer then finally came to her, the comprehension causing Cynthia to nearly gasp aloud
He’s staring at me! But why? If he wants something, he only has to come in and ask!
It then occurred to Cynthia that maybe the guy wasn’t from around Miami and had been dropped off here by mistake. Perhaps he’d been on his way to a different location – possibly another hotel – and felt awkward about admitting to being lost. Maybe he was even thinking about coming in to ask about room availability, but was having trouble making up his mind because of doubts any would be available on such short notice. Sure! It had to be something like that! She couldn’t think of any other likely reason.
Hesitantly, Cynthia raised her hand in a friendly casual wave and pasted – what she hoped looked like – a cheerful encouraging smile onto her face, moving a few steps forward as she did so. No doubt, once the guy noticed her encouraging response he’d come straight in to offer an explanation. She would deal with him now and then go ahead to the bathroom after…
It didn’t happen.
The man remained where he was; no change apparent in his erect stance. Now that she was in a closer position, Cynthia thought she could distinguish a dim view of his features – which as far as she could tell were devoid of any expression. Except…was that the faintest hint of a half-smile she could see curling the right corner of his mouth? She could also tell that his head was slightly tilted to one side, as if in deep thought.
It’s like he’s planning something. And now that I’ve looked at him more, I can tell he doesn’t seem awkward or nervous at all. If anything…he looks kind of aggressive!
Cynthia immediately backed away; feeling an unpleasant cold prickly sensation crawling its way along the back of her neck – as well as a sudden queasiness in the bottom of her stomach. By this point she didn’t have a clue what was going on but did know that whatever it was she didn’t like it.
I should call security! They’ll know what to do!
However, just as Cynthia was about to dash back to the reception desk to grab her phone, the man abruptly retreated – almost as if he’d read her mind. Unable to prevent herself from doing so this time, she watched open-mouthed as the stranger moved further away…into a spot where the glow from one of the outside street lamps momentarily revealed his face. Cynthia was unable to prevent her mouth from dropping open in shock – as this time there was no mistaking the sneer on his lips. Nor the piercing, mocking, expression in his (were they blue or grey? She couldn’t tell which) eyes.
What the hell…who is this nut? What does he want?
For another moment or two the visitor continued to keep his gaze fixed upon her. As if reluctant to take the last remaining step that would allow the night to swallow him from sight once more. But then he did so, disappearing as swiftly as a full moon being enveloped by a passing black cloud.
This is the beginning of a short story fan fiction that I'm currently in the process of putting together. I will mention here that I realise it's far from perfect, as it's still fairly rough and still needs further editing. But still thought I'd put it up here anyways just to see what people thought. Also if anyone feels that there's any particular way it could be improved and would like to offer any constructive comments on how they think it could be, then please feel free! Any helpful feedback will go greatly appreciated.
Anyways hope that you guys enjoy the read! However if not, then I can always delete this at a later stage:
Disclaimer: I'm making no profit from this story and all character rights belong to the creator of the original work.
Cat and Mouse
It didn’t occur to Cynthia right away that anything was wrong, when catching her first glimpse of the dark-haired man in the grey business suit, through the glass of the Lux Atlantic Hotel’s entrance doors opposite the reception desk where she sat. Neither would this idea occur to her for roughly the next fifteen minutes or so. Possibly it never would have for the remainder of her evening shift, if not for the unexpected incident that followed.
It happened as Cynthia slowly reached for the nearly overflowing cup of black coffee standing at her left elbow. The fingers of her other hand continued to tap away at the buttons of the keyboard before her. Her eyes stayed glued to the computer screen above – as she tightened her grip on the white plastic cup…
“AHH!” she cried out, as her left arm and hand jerked seemingly of their own accord; sending dark-brown liquid gushing over the cups rim and desk surface as the surrounding lights abruptly blinked off – plunging her into sudden darkness.
Oh my god! Not another power cut!
Initially, it seemed to Cynthia that things stayed that way for several minutes. However, luckily for her, it was a mere few seconds before everything flicked on again as swiftly as it had done the opposite – bathing the ground floor area in familiar white light again. The young receptionist let out a deep breath of relief, glad that there appeared to be no need to worry about being unable to finish the urgent guest bill system updates that had to be completed before she left work (the previous power cut had happened only the day before and had lasted for hours at the time).
Still, this newly acquired feeling of reassurance wasn’t to last long. As Cynthia slowly became aware of the sight of the sodden dripping wooden surface in front of her, she realised that she had an entirely new problem staring her in the face.
“Oh no!” she wailed, eyes widening in shock. “Look what I’ve done! I need to go get something to clean this all up with…but I can’t just leave the front desk!”
She helplessly looked around the interior of the empty ground floor lobby. What was she going to do? None of the receptionist’s were supposed to leave the area deserted! Of course, it rarely happened that Cynthia was ever left completely alone. But this week the hotel had been unusually short staffed. The ground floor security guard was currently patrolling a couple of other areas of the building tonight, so wasn’t about right now. Henry, the new doorman who’d joined just a couple of weeks ago, had (not unpredictably) done one of his disappearing acts without telling anybody where he was going first (Cynthia had recently considered, more than once, mentioning this to somebody, though she wasn’t generally one to rat on others). Normally, again, Tracy – one of the other receptionists – would have been sharing her shift. But she’d had to leave work early because of a family emergency that had come up, so for now Cynthia was managing the front desk by herself.
She sighed heavily, closing her eyes for a few seconds, as thoughts of how different the situation would be if Lisa Reisert, her manager (as well as one of her closest friends) didn’t happen to be absent flitted through her mind. Not that she meant to knock the new acting manager (temporarily covering for Lisa until her return from annual leave). But it hadn’t taken Cynthia long to notice that the replacement lacked both the extent of experience and sense of job dedication that Lisa possessed in the hotel management field. She knew if Lisa had been around, there would have been a ninety five percent chance of her successfully finding last minute extra staff cover – or else would have been chipping in and helping to man the reception desk herself. Not the new person though! She’d simply waltzed out of her office earlier at lunchtime, smilingly informed Cynthia on her way out of the building that she wouldn’t be back again till Monday and would have her phone switched off for the rest of the day, and had then left.
The young receptionist opened her eyes again, her face dropping at the memory.
“Oh Leese!” she groaned aloud. “I sure wish you were here right now instead of on vacation in Texas! I know it's mean of me... But you're the one who always holds everything together! When you're not around things always start to fall apart..."
It was then that Cynthia abruptly became aware of the warm, but moist, sensation seeping its way through the thin white material covering her upper thighs. Gasping, her gaze shot to – what she already knew now to be – the brown splattered skirt of her dress.
“sh*t!” she wailed again, cringing inside at the thought of what a mess she must look. “Some of it must’ve gotten on me when I wasn’t looking! Jeez, I can’t stay here like this! I have no choice! I’ll have to quickly use the ladies across the way and let the answer machine pick up any calls that come through while I’m gone!”
Jumping up from her seat, Cynthia hurriedly began to make her way across the expanse of ivory marble floor that stretched between the front desk area and her intended location; the low heels of her black shoes clattering against the hard surface beneath them as she did so. As she began to move, her gaze automatically shifted forward towards the quadruple entrance doors opposite. It would have no doubt drifted on to the right, in unison with her body, if not for something in the distance that caught her attention at that moment.
Wait a minute! Who’s that standing outside? Could that be a guest or visitor?
She slowed her steps, coming to a stand-still just a few metres away from where the dark silhouette stood before her. Frowning slightly, she strained her eyes in an attempt to make out more; all thoughts of the spilled coffee, and the risk she’d taken of getting into trouble for abandoning the reception area, temporarily forgotten. A few more seconds passed, before further realization struck.
Hey, that’s the same guy I noticed a few minutes ago! I remember now, he was out there just before I spilled my drink. I recognise the grey suit! But…
She bit nervously at her lower lip; as yet another thought hit her.
There’s something different about him now…something I didn’t see before. That’s what made me stop to look!
The man continued to stand where he was – unmoving. From this distance away it was difficult for Cynthia to tell much about his face as, along with the rest of his upper body, it was mostly cloaked in shadow. She frowned, trying to work out what it was about him that had obviously changed – yet was being so slow to come to mind.
He was walking around before! Not just standing there that way. I assumed he had to be a guest who’d just checked out and was waiting to grab one of the hotel taxi’s…but it’s not just that…
The answer then finally came to her, the comprehension causing Cynthia to nearly gasp aloud
He’s staring at me! But why? If he wants something, he only has to come in and ask!
It then occurred to Cynthia that maybe the guy wasn’t from around Miami and had been dropped off here by mistake. Perhaps he’d been on his way to a different location – possibly another hotel – and felt awkward about admitting to being lost. Maybe he was even thinking about coming in to ask about room availability, but was having trouble making up his mind because of doubts any would be available on such short notice. Sure! It had to be something like that! She couldn’t think of any other likely reason.
Hesitantly, Cynthia raised her hand in a friendly casual wave and pasted – what she hoped looked like – a cheerful encouraging smile onto her face, moving a few steps forward as she did so. No doubt, once the guy noticed her encouraging response he’d come straight in to offer an explanation. She would deal with him now and then go ahead to the bathroom after…
It didn’t happen.
The man remained where he was; no change apparent in his erect stance. Now that she was in a closer position, Cynthia thought she could distinguish a dim view of his features – which as far as she could tell were devoid of any expression. Except…was that the faintest hint of a half-smile she could see curling the right corner of his mouth? She could also tell that his head was slightly tilted to one side, as if in deep thought.
It’s like he’s planning something. And now that I’ve looked at him more, I can tell he doesn’t seem awkward or nervous at all. If anything…he looks kind of aggressive!
Cynthia immediately backed away; feeling an unpleasant cold prickly sensation crawling its way along the back of her neck – as well as a sudden queasiness in the bottom of her stomach. By this point she didn’t have a clue what was going on but did know that whatever it was she didn’t like it.
I should call security! They’ll know what to do!
However, just as Cynthia was about to dash back to the reception desk to grab her phone, the man abruptly retreated – almost as if he’d read her mind. Unable to prevent herself from doing so this time, she watched open-mouthed as the stranger moved further away…into a spot where the glow from one of the outside street lamps momentarily revealed his face. Cynthia was unable to prevent her mouth from dropping open in shock – as this time there was no mistaking the sneer on his lips. Nor the piercing, mocking, expression in his (were they blue or grey? She couldn’t tell which) eyes.
What the hell…who is this nut? What does he want?
For another moment or two the visitor continued to keep his gaze fixed upon her. As if reluctant to take the last remaining step that would allow the night to swallow him from sight once more. But then he did so, disappearing as swiftly as a full moon being enveloped by a passing black cloud.
I have to admit, I really didn't think that I'd done a terribly great job on it by this point. But am glad you liked reading what I've put up so far. When next possible will be sure to post more 
