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Post by The Phantom Lady on Sept 18, 2011 5:58:05 GMT -5
I had some emotions that I needed to let out, and this is how I'll do it...
Synopsis:
A young woman recalls how she became a woman in the arms of a certain blue eyed man, how he kissed her back to life but she also recalls a heartbreak brought on by the same man...
Please comment in here or PM me for access to this; I will obviously not PM anyone under the age of 18.
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Post by ikklehen on Sept 18, 2011 13:28:58 GMT -5
Awww that's sad. I really felt the writer's (your) vunerability throughout that, well written honey! <3 <3 <3
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Post by bluestar on Sept 18, 2011 13:38:50 GMT -5
Aww he was soo romantic and sweet at the beginning but the ending was very sad, I really did feel sorry for her- good job Victim of Love  |
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Post by Pisces on Sept 18, 2011 14:40:27 GMT -5
Awww, jeez.... so sad!  Very tender and delicate in the beginning though; there's a sweet hesitancy throughout that really fits with your main character. Nice job! |
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Post by The Phantom Lady on Sept 18, 2011 15:00:23 GMT -5
Thank you so much for the kind words girls, I am really glad you liked it!
I was really questioning my choice of narrator but I hope I made the right decision...
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Post by Zombiekitten on Sept 18, 2011 16:46:18 GMT -5
I'm very interested to read that !!!   |
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Post by The Phantom Lady on Sept 19, 2011 9:56:18 GMT -5
I hope you got the PM Zombie, I sent it while at the program and the laptop I was on was giving me a lot of issues...
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Post by Zombiekitten on Sept 19, 2011 11:21:12 GMT -5
No worry I got your PM ! I just read it. OMG that was intense ! I have to say I LOVE storys about the "first time". And "Coming alive" was very emotional and sweet and yet it was so sad... Yeah... and because of this realistic too. I have the feeling that your writing gets better with every new fic I read from you. I lift my hat for your confidence in us that you share such an emotional, personal and intimate story with us. |
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Post by The Phantom Lady on Sept 19, 2011 15:30:40 GMT -5
Thank you so much again for being so nice about the story. At first I wasn't even going to share it, then I wanted to change the narrator... I almost deleted the whole thing...
You see... WARNING this gets a little personal but I've come to a part in my life where I'm okay with telling people about it and it's a big part of who I am today...
I wish 'Coming Alive' was autobiographical; so much that I wrote this one shot... There were so many ways it could have happened to me but at the age of 13 I lost my virginity to my blue eyed boyfriend who was 6 years older; when I told him I wasn't ready he raped me and it has ruined so much of my life since then... at the time I had a lot of romantic dreams of saving myself for 'the one' and that wasn't him...
The last couple of years I've found comfort in making up stories of how it could have happened; like this one and I like to pretend like they are true... Its silly I know.
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Post by Zombiekitten on Sept 19, 2011 17:07:05 GMT -5
Victim of Love... that's not silly at all !!! For so many people writing is kind of a way to handle emotional things. It's somehow a release to write down things, wrap them up in a story. I know this myself... The thing I had to handle was not even comparable to your story, nothing as cruel and bad as what happened to you. I once wrote a love story of a guy who is so shy and so unsure about himself that he can't cope reality, has no friends, no lover, is always alone, and has to handle mobbing at school. And one day he meets the man of his dreams. Well... with beginning to write this story I was handling, years ago, my own shyness and loneliness. (although I was "hiding" myself behind a male chara who's gay...  ) So I really can understand you very well about getting personal in your stories. It's so helpful and its truly a gift that we can put our wishes as well as our problems in words, create a story and this way can handle what troubles us. And you can be assured to have all my respect that you are so open about this. I'm feeling with you... My sister was raped too as a young teen...  It was so horrible and it had an effect on her whole life too... |
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Post by The Phantom Lady on Sept 19, 2011 17:31:10 GMT -5
Zombie first of all I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your sister! my thoughts are with both of you!
Your story sounds wonderful! and it's so smart to disguise yourself in a character!
what happened to me is a big part of why I started writing; 2 years after it happened it I kept it a secret and when I finally told my mother I was told never to tell a living soul. my mother's best friend was his foster-mum and she didn't want their relationship to be damaged... after that I had so many emotions I needed to let out and one of the best ways became writing... writing really is some of the best therapy I found!
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Post by Zombiekitten on Sept 21, 2011 10:19:27 GMT -5
writing really is some of the best therapy I found Oh yeah that's absolutely right. Art in general is like a therapy. If I hadn't my talents and my fantasy worlds... I really don't know how else I could cope with problems. So cruel what one single person with just one single action can do with ones life...  I'm so angry about men who doesn't seem to know what they are actually doing to a woman when they use violence to get what they want!! Thanks for your kind words about my sister. It was bad what happened to her.... And it affected her life in such a way that she wasn't able to have any good relationships with men anymore. |
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Post by The Phantom Lady on Sept 21, 2011 10:38:44 GMT -5
That is so sad about your sister! I really hope she will get better someday!
Since what happened to me I haven't been in a relationship with a man and for years I got scared as soon as a man as much as smiled to me. I didn't care about my body and I felt like I was damaged goods so to say and I started gaining a lot of weight and did a lot to be unattractive... I hid behind my looks and dirty hair and created a rumour that although I am bisexual I let people believe I was completely gay... I know now that was the completely wrong thing to do; I am trying to rebuild myself now.
I kissed a guy for the first time since I was 13 about 6 months ago at a party; some stranger I didn't even fancy but it was a huge thing for me... I proved to myself that I am getting a lot better... I desperately want a boyfriend... its stupid I know; but I just want to be over it.
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Post by Zombiekitten on Sept 21, 2011 13:19:19 GMT -5
I started gaining a lot of weight and did a lot to be unattractive... That's exactly what my sister did... Before the rape she was very slender and was wearing sexy clothes. But after she had constantly gained weight... For years she was overweight and had problems with eating. She was eating way too much... Was eating when she had problems etc. Now she's 40 and recently she has made a "stomach bypass" Don't know how this is calling in English. It was an operation to make the stomach smaller. And she lost a lot of weight! Now she likes to dress again in sexy clothes and she had had also many therapies, and I think she slowly wants to be attractive again. But she didn't find a partner yet and I don't think she would ever, cause she has lost her faith in humans. Not only because of the rape. In general she had many dissappointements in life. And she only finds love in caring for animals (she has a lot of abandoned cats at home...) But her psych is much better than years ago. I think she is constantly getting better. |
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Post by The Phantom Lady on Sept 21, 2011 13:48:10 GMT -5
gastric bypasses are a wonderful thing and I'm glad it seems to have helped your sister! But I'm sorry she feels like that about people.
I am not extremely fat and I have no idea how but its not affecting my health; all of the stupid foolish things I did has damaged my health other than leaving scars and making my body big... Today I am happy that I survived all of the things I got myself into but at the time I was desperate... but today I am considering getting a gastric bypass because I still comfort eat... everytime I go on a diet something makes me upset and I start eating again...
I am not sure if I had been this well off today if my now best friend hadn't taken me into makeup stores and talked so passionately about it. she is aspiring to become a makeup artist and she is very skillful at it too... she made me want to try makeup and skin products and that changed a lot of how I feel about myself. I still don't think I am beautiful or anything but with makeup and the right clothes I can feel somewhat comfortable about going out...
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Very tender and delicate in the beginning though; there's a sweet hesitancy throughout that really fits with your main character. Nice job!
)
It was so horrible and it had an effect on her whole life too... 
I'm so angry about men who doesn't seem to know what they are actually doing to a woman when they use violence to get what they want!!