Lucid Dreamer

[aurora10]

Ohoho...I love this story.

[seonedevinian]

hehe, thanks aurora! thanks everyone else too!

[seonedevinian]

okay, here's the first part of the next chapter. it leads up to a very...extreme scene, so be warned. well, this one isn't so much, it's really the next one. if you like dark and disturbing, this is it. will be it, i mean. *ahem*...
so here ya go...

~a Narrow line~

The next morning confirmed the feeling of inescapable change. If Crane was her enemy, the time for confrontation was fast approaching.

“What are these?” Jane asked the nurse with the medication trolley, although she had known this was coming. She’d lain awake for hours, wondering how she was going to counter this move.

“New meds”, the nurse answered. Not Maggie, unfortunately; in fact, Jane hadn’t seen Maggie since her hypnotherapy treatment. She’d been the one to take her back to her room that evening; that had been the last time they’d spoken. “Doctor’s orders.”

Jane accepted the paper cup. “What are they for?”

A look of impatience flashed across the woman’s face. Jane imagined she had better things to do than tell some seventeen-year old biter what she was putting into her body. “They’re for your serotonin”, she answered with a false sweetness. “Keep your mood up.”

“Okay”, she said. She tipped the cup back, spilling the little pills into her mouth. “When will they start working?”

“They should start immediately.”

Jane swallowed obediently, allowing the nurse to look into her mouth and under her tongue. Satisfied, she wheeled away, leaving Jane relatively alone in the common room.

Immediately. That was not what Jane had wanted to hear. She wandered over to a window, and, with her back to the room, carefully sucked the pills out of the cavity at the back of her throat. At the time, she’d thought she was going to choke; if she’d tipped back any further when ‘swallowing’, they’d be coming out of her nose. She spat them into her palm, inspecting the tiny blue capsules. She didn’t know what they were supposed to do, but she doubted it was anything as helpful as mood elevation. If she didn’t make an educated guess soon…

“Jane”, the doctor, making a very half-hearted effort to sound warm, greeted her unexpectedly. He glanced down as she quickly closed her palm; luckily his gaze didn’t linger on her hands. “How are you feeling today?”

“Okay”, she said; then, remembering the nurse’s story, she added, “Good, actually.”

He smiled, highlighting perfect cheekbones and full lips. If it had been genuine, Jane’s heart would have quickened with something other than uneasiness. “Good, good. Can you come with me, please?”

“What for?”

He was almost jovial today. “Therapy”, he said. “It’s that time again. You’re not busy, are you?”

Jane smiled, though that was a cruel shot to take at someone locked away in a mental institution. “No”, she allowed. “I just didn’t realize it was time again…”

“Ah, well. Come this way.”

Jane followed him out of the common room, down a stark white corridor. She couldn’t remember if this was the same room he’d used before; as he ushered her in, she appraised the drab green colour of the walls, and decided that she remembered something distinctly brighter than this. There was no table here, either; only two chairs, padded this time, faced each other next to a caged window.

“What are we doing today?” Jane asked, nervously gripping the little pills in her palm. She had the feeling that the clear capsules were dissolving in the heat; she hadn’t had the chance to dispose of them yet.

“Well, we had such success with last week’s session, I thought we’d continue to use hypnotherapy to unlock those fears of yours.” Crane took a seat, again setting his trusty briefcase at his feet. He gestured for her to do the same.

Jane sat opposite him; she twisted and fiddled with the edge of her top, hoping he wouldn’t notice that she hadn’t opened her hand in the last five minutes.

“You look nervous”, he observed, quite correctly. His dark voice, always somewhat dry, seemed almost sincerely concerned today. “How have you been sleeping?”

She shrugged. “Alright, I guess.”

“I’ve noticed that you seem to be getting to bed much earlier lately; I do hope you haven’t been very fatigued by the medication?”

Jane really didn’t know what to say. She shrugged again, forcing herself to look into his azure eyes, trying to ignore the penetrating ice there. “What are my new pills for?” she asked quite suddenly, shocking even herself.

Dr. Crane seemed a bit taken aback as well. “They’re to combat depression”, he answered. “It’s a common problem among many of the younger patients.”

“But I haven’t been depressed”, she lied.

He smiled. “Perhaps you haven’t noticed. Sometimes it’s better to nip these things in the bud, so to speak.”

She nodded weakly, realizing that the doctor would probably never answer a question directly.

Crane rubbed his hands together briskly; Jane told herself it was because the room was cold. “Shall we begin?”

Helpless again, Jane had to agree. She clutched her new pills; hopefully their absence would keep her in the real world, help her see what the doctor had planned.

“Okay, Jane”, the doctor said. There was something in his sharp eyes, a gleam that may belie excitement. “We’ll start off the same as last time; just focus on me, listen to my voice…”

Jane, she begged herself frantically, stay inside yourself

Don’t lose your head

okay, so stay tuned. y'know...if you want to, that is...

[azina]

You know I want to stay tuned. You really know how to set a scene and keep the tension up. But please post the next installment soon ... I need to find out what happens!! LOL

[§ilvercell]

so do i! ;D

[jill]

oh no...I wonder what'll happen now that she didn't take the pills? hopefully crane doesn't find out...well anyway, post more soon!

[seonedevinian]

okay, here it is. the Big One. the furthest Crane and Jane (i do realize they rhyme; it wasn't intentional, i just already had two chaps up before it occurred that it sounds silly) go down their path so far. again, be warned. it's dark!

~a Narrow line, pt. 2~

The world went black, and Jane could feel control slipping away. The capsules in her hand dug into her skin, inside a crescent-shaped line of nails. She used the pain to connect herself to reality, as much as was possible.

She heard a deep, steady voice from a million miles away. To her horror, she realized that she had no idea who this person was. It seemed familiar; what was his name? How did she know him…? It was a man, she knew; he was drawing her into the dream, out of her own life. Panic seized her; it tried to drown her. It was the weapon used by the monster that was gaining on her every second…

Where is his face?

Where is his face…!

Jane gasped. Back in the real world – she fervently hoped – she was suddenly cold, uncomfortable. She tried to bring her hands up to shield herself from the bright light; they were immobile. Looking down, she saw with hazy, half-blind eyes thick straps across both wrists. The restraints were so tight they were beginning to cut off her circulation; the harsh metal of her chair dug into her arms and legs, chilling her to the bone. She was starting to reconsider her hopes that this wasn’t a dream.

“Jane, are you back with us?” that unrecognized voice said.

Dr. Crane, of course. It felt silly in retrospect.

Jane blinked, squinting against the painful light. “Y-yes”, she croaked. How is one expected to respond to treatment like this?

Gradually, the light faded, leaving her with useful eyes once again. Dr. Crane hovered above her, unsettlingly close to her seat.

“Jane, I found your pills.”

She was starting to wish he’d stop saying her name; it had some bad, unclean feeling about it. At first she didn’t know what he was talking about; her empty hands, she soon realized. She looked down at her palm; empty, indeed. Only a curve of moon-shaped cuts, and a clear sticky residue. Bad news.

Jane forced herself to look up at him. Surprisingly, he seemed no colder than usual. Of course, she thought, maybe it just doesn’t get colder than Crane on a good day. He was sub-zero, the most chilling wind ever to pass through her. In the face of his nuclear winter, Jane remained silent.

“Nothing to say?” he inquired. He was smug, sickeningly so, as he reached down to tighten one of her restraints. She winced at the pain. Now there was a temperature change; Jane swore she saw a glint inside him, like a fire had been lit at her expense. She stifled a gasp; even his growing heat was a deep freeze.

“Well, now. As your medication is imperative-” he produced a handy syringe at this – “I will have to ensure you take it.” He leaned into her space conspiratorially, though she was sure they were alone in the room. “You know, this isn’t even the last of it. I have to prepare you for the final dose.”

She supposed that was good news; better than jumping right to the end-stage, in any event. She tried to calm her racing heart; anything to buy her time, how could she save herself from this? Momentarily, her mind shut down, leaving her with visions of her mother, her cat, her home; she quickly regained control, to a limited extent. There were no words in her brain, none that made sense.

Do it! Do it again! Save yourself!

?

Dr. Crane moved closer to her, intentionally, she was sure. He tried to appear preoccupied, but she was quite aware of his proximity, the way he forced himself into her most intimate presence. It was an affront, a deliberate recollection of the attack; laying a hand on her wrist, he turned to face her, fierce blue irises inches away from Jane’s own. Jane forced herself to stay awake, widening her dark gray eyes to encompass all the consciousness the room had to offer. Her breath laboured – no, the park was coming back, the man had his hands around her throat –

“Jane”, he hissed with complete confidence. The human face of Jonathan Crane flickered in and out, replaced intermittently with something infinitely more horrible. This beast, whoever he was, positively panted with excitement or exertion. Or both.

His icy hands moved up her arms, a lascivious gesture. He pressed even closer, he was sucking the air right out of her lungs –

“Did you miss me?”

A solitary, nightmarish breath later, she was on her back in the cold, wet grass. There was a man on top of her; her windpipe was collapsing under his weight. From somewhere inside, a little voice whispered that this was all a dream, a bad bad dream. And once you realize you’re in a dream, Jane, you can control the whole world.

She’d settle for controlling herself at this point. The man crushing her continued to choke her senselessly, occasionally showing his face. Lucid now, Jane saw that the horror was a mask, albeit a very effective one. Her dreamy hands reached up, clawed in slow motion. Amazingly, something clicked; her fingers passed through a rough fabric, proving this imaginary. Away came the burlap, the heavy twine-stitched mouth. Underneath it all was the face of an ordinary man.

He tensed, grimaced; he didn’t appear to notice the change. His efforts to ruin her went on, and Jane feared that this time, he wouldn’t be stopped.

Do it! Do it again!

Jane lunged upward, feverishly, for some reason unable to use her hands now. She utilized the only weapon she had left, and from somewhere very far away, she heard a grown man scream.

There was another deep, startling sound; like the crack of thunder. Jane’s eyes were still open wide; reality suddenly poured in, the dingy olive walls, the fluorescent lights buzzing in the ceiling. There was no longer any man invading her personal space; the only other person in the room stood startled against the far wall, holding his neck. His bright blue eyes were locked on her, and he was gasping now not from gratification, but from shock.

Slowly he took his hand away, seeming reluctant to look. He soon calmed; turning back to her, he showed her his relatively clean palm.

“Only saliva”, Crane said, triumphant. “No blood for you this time, Jane.”

Welcome back to the land of the living.

What Jane hadn’t taken from him in blood, Crane would take from her in freedom, she was sure. Reality wasn’t such a relief, after all.

[§ilvercell]

oh.my.God.

[aurora10]

That was crazy but awesome!

[jill]

um, I LOVE IT! like i said, crane is soo sketchy...ughh. poor jane. can't wait for more!

[azina]

Yep, Crane is definitely freaky here. But he is very mysterious and I seriously want to do an asylum break for Jane to get her out of his clutches. Ack! Daring rescue now! (Okay, weird mood tonight) But this is really interesting. Is this as dark as it's going to get because this was not as disturbing as I thought it'd be. Maybe I'm just sick.

[seonedevinian]

ah, i'm glad to hear that. thanks everyone! this is not as dark as it could get; i was just unsure of what i could get away with, so to speak. same as Dr. Crane, he's wondering how far he can go with Jane after this, too. he's successfully made her his own little guinea pig now. working on more tonight!

[taintedxlove151]

this is such a great fanfic. are there going to be any more chapters?

[azina]

You know this is really excellent writing. I know I didn't mention it before, but I love how you compare Crane to being sub-zero and icy, and the fire he lit was at Jane's expense. Have you thought of posting this to fanfiction.net?

[seonedevinian]

i have thought about it...i'm not a member, and i don't write a lot of stuff that's actually fan fiction, but it would be cool to show it to a big group like that. i was kind of lost for a while, no one in my life was reading my stuff so i had no feedback. i feel a lot better about it after all the support i get here! thanks to you all. and yes, there will definitely be more chapters.