Post by Kizuna on Mar 19, 2006 20:37:56 GMT -5
Darn, I'm on a roll when I write RE fanfics. Which is quite sad, considering I have fic bunnies from other fandoms I really want to write. Oh well, here's the new story.
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Without the Urge
Disclaimer: I don't own Red Eye. It's Wes Craven's baby.
Summary: After the events of the movie, Jackson reflects on his failure and the causes of it.
Author's note: I'm never writing a fic in first person perspective again. Trying to think like Jackson only made my head hurt badly. I just hope he's not too OOC.
Edit: I changed the order of a few things to my liking.
There's a woman who lives in a semi-large apartment in Miami and I've watched her for two months. I thought I knew everything about her. But I didn't.
In fact, she nearly killed me and made me fail the mission spectacularly. Lisa Reisert should be dead.
Yes. Dead. She sent me into a coma that's lasted two whole months now. She stabbed me and shot me. And as the icing on the rotten little cake, she caused my failure. Therefore, she's not fit to go on living. Lisa has ignited my anger. But the funny thing is, I'm not angry at all... In fact, I'm now asking myself, does she really even deserve it?
Why did I fail like that? I should have been in control. Instead, I let myself like her; I let myself have emotions. She was just as messed up as me in ways, but it shouldn't have mattered, I should have been in control.
I don't even feel the same as I would normally do. I'm much more powerful, smarter, better, than my mother or even my father ever were. So why do I waste it, when I should be taking revenge in my own hands?
'Ah,' a nasty voice slyly whispered in my head. It sounded so much like Lisa when she taunted me. 'Isn't rotting here with regret and anger in your heart just the same as wasting your strengths? Who are you now, Jackson?'
Who am I now? Jackson Rippner the Merciful? Oh hell no. I'd sooner stab myself in the throat than ever become something my mother was: a weak person who had the brains to do it, but she just didn't have the backbone to stand up and put the fools in their place. Yes, it's clear to me now just what really caused my failure. I now know that I have finally lost the urge to kill, despite my desire for revenge.
But I can't become a normal person. I'm not a normal person. And I know that even if I did try my best at being normal, I would only end up hurting people again and ruining everything that I had tried so hard to earn.
... But maybe it won't turn out that way. Maybe it can work. After all, I have nothing to lose. I'm still the organization's Golden Boy; one little slip up after over two hundred successful missions (that were much more difficult and more high-profile) isn't going to do a thing to me. They'd just erase this failure out of my file and let me go on with the rest of my life.
I know I can wake up from this coma if I wanted to. I've been drifting in a limbo between being awake and being asleep.
I felt like I was stuck in the ocean, flowing in the water. I knew that I had to swim up to the surface to fully wake up. So I did.
I knew I couldn't feel pain in my dreams, but if I could, then I know I'd feel like my head would explode, my limbs would feel stiff and tired and my lungs would feel as though they were shriveling. But I continued on.
Finally I reached the surface. A strange feeling filled me inside. Triumph. I never felt the real thing; only that sick, sadistic pleasure when I just sent the target of the day to meet his maker. This feeling is different. I feel so stupid but I love it.
Finally, I awoke. I nearly screamed when the lights above flooded my vision. I had to blink several times to get used to it, but it's better than the darkness. I then felt a warm liquid come from my eyes and flow down my cheeks. Tears...
I looked around and I saw the nurse at the door with a surprised expression on her face. She quickly ran to tell the doctor I was now awake.
I know what I must do now. I'll manipulate the nurse, bend her to my will and use her to escape from the hospital.
I think I'll go to the ocean first and think more about my future. Then I can begin anew, and start a new life, without the urge.
======================================
Without the Urge
Disclaimer: I don't own Red Eye. It's Wes Craven's baby.
Summary: After the events of the movie, Jackson reflects on his failure and the causes of it.
Author's note: I'm never writing a fic in first person perspective again. Trying to think like Jackson only made my head hurt badly. I just hope he's not too OOC.
Edit: I changed the order of a few things to my liking.
There's a woman who lives in a semi-large apartment in Miami and I've watched her for two months. I thought I knew everything about her. But I didn't.
In fact, she nearly killed me and made me fail the mission spectacularly. Lisa Reisert should be dead.
Yes. Dead. She sent me into a coma that's lasted two whole months now. She stabbed me and shot me. And as the icing on the rotten little cake, she caused my failure. Therefore, she's not fit to go on living. Lisa has ignited my anger. But the funny thing is, I'm not angry at all... In fact, I'm now asking myself, does she really even deserve it?
Why did I fail like that? I should have been in control. Instead, I let myself like her; I let myself have emotions. She was just as messed up as me in ways, but it shouldn't have mattered, I should have been in control.
I don't even feel the same as I would normally do. I'm much more powerful, smarter, better, than my mother or even my father ever were. So why do I waste it, when I should be taking revenge in my own hands?
'Ah,' a nasty voice slyly whispered in my head. It sounded so much like Lisa when she taunted me. 'Isn't rotting here with regret and anger in your heart just the same as wasting your strengths? Who are you now, Jackson?'
Who am I now? Jackson Rippner the Merciful? Oh hell no. I'd sooner stab myself in the throat than ever become something my mother was: a weak person who had the brains to do it, but she just didn't have the backbone to stand up and put the fools in their place. Yes, it's clear to me now just what really caused my failure. I now know that I have finally lost the urge to kill, despite my desire for revenge.
But I can't become a normal person. I'm not a normal person. And I know that even if I did try my best at being normal, I would only end up hurting people again and ruining everything that I had tried so hard to earn.
... But maybe it won't turn out that way. Maybe it can work. After all, I have nothing to lose. I'm still the organization's Golden Boy; one little slip up after over two hundred successful missions (that were much more difficult and more high-profile) isn't going to do a thing to me. They'd just erase this failure out of my file and let me go on with the rest of my life.
I know I can wake up from this coma if I wanted to. I've been drifting in a limbo between being awake and being asleep.
I felt like I was stuck in the ocean, flowing in the water. I knew that I had to swim up to the surface to fully wake up. So I did.
I knew I couldn't feel pain in my dreams, but if I could, then I know I'd feel like my head would explode, my limbs would feel stiff and tired and my lungs would feel as though they were shriveling. But I continued on.
Finally I reached the surface. A strange feeling filled me inside. Triumph. I never felt the real thing; only that sick, sadistic pleasure when I just sent the target of the day to meet his maker. This feeling is different. I feel so stupid but I love it.
Finally, I awoke. I nearly screamed when the lights above flooded my vision. I had to blink several times to get used to it, but it's better than the darkness. I then felt a warm liquid come from my eyes and flow down my cheeks. Tears...
I looked around and I saw the nurse at the door with a surprised expression on her face. She quickly ran to tell the doctor I was now awake.
I know what I must do now. I'll manipulate the nurse, bend her to my will and use her to escape from the hospital.
I think I'll go to the ocean first and think more about my future. Then I can begin anew, and start a new life, without the urge.
lol
