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Post by bunnie24 on Aug 17, 2012 21:48:26 GMT -5
last night, before we pulled him on life support; we all had one last Jack and Coke with him.
And we all told great stories and had such a laugh as well as cries. I miss him SO much, and I can't bare it.
I want him back, but I can't. And it all seems so unfair. I went by my grandparents house today and it just wasn't the same; him on the porch with a cup of coffee (or beer) in his hands saying "Hi, baby girl! How are you!?"
it just...it hurts knowing that he'll never tell me he loves me again; he'll never see me get married or have kids. I'll never be able to sit with him and talk about politics, and I'll never be able to listen to him go on and on about conspiracy theories. God must've really needed him. Because he touched so many lives and so many people are now lost and troubled without him.
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Post by wikkleshamrocks on Aug 18, 2012 9:22:15 GMT -5
More hugs BunzIt's going to take a while for that feeling of loss to lessen sweet chick. It ever goes away completely but I promise it does get easier with time, very slowly but it happens. Too early to look at that perspective right now though. Let yourself grieve and let it all out. I's so glad you could have a special moment before you said goodbye, that broke my heart reading your story Bunz ...He would have acknowledged that special drink and reminiscing & celebration and will cherish that for his time of passing. You will feel him close to you sometimes, like his presence around you so when you do, embrace it because he lives on forever in your heart and dare I say it, I do know we don't completely die, something from us passes onward and a long the way. I call it the other side of the fence. It's just a little bit brighter over there. 
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Post by bunnie24 on Aug 18, 2012 15:49:17 GMT -5
I posted something on my Tumblr page; figured I'd share it with you guys here:  so on Thursday my grandfather passed away at the age of 68. He was a good man, with a good heart; he always had a smile on his face and a hand to help out with. Life without him seems futile. But it’s one of those things that are inevitable, and I’ve got to live with it. The last thing I ever said was “I love you grandpa, I’ll see you later.”Emphasis on the later: the next birthday party, the next family gathering, the next time I had enough time and gas in the car to drive up for a visit. I never thought ‘later’ would be in the after life, in the Kingdom of Heaven, after Armageddon. And I think that’s what is eating me up inside; I will have to wait an eternity to see him again. Willis Boyd (1944-2012) |
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Post by wikkleshamrocks on Aug 18, 2012 15:56:42 GMT -5
Awww he's handsome Bunz. Your Opa was too young to die Bunz. Life is indeed very short. He's not gone completely chikky, he's in spirit. He'll be watching over you. <3 <3 <3
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Post by The Phantom Lady on Aug 18, 2012 16:08:05 GMT -5
That is a beautiful post, Bunnie! I am happy on your behalf that you got to tell him that you love him, and I am sure he knew it too! I know this is not easy, it never will be but I hope you can get through this. and like I said before you can PM me anything you want! we all grieve differently...
One thing I regret is not being able to tell the woman who lived next door to me when I was a little girl and would be my refuge from my violent upbringing how much she meant... she passed away when I was 7, and I don't even have a tomb stone... I only hope she knows what she did...
Bunnie, I will never know what it is like to lose a grandparent I suppose, but I have seen it is not easy... All I can say is don't be alone and don't force yourself to be too strong.
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Post by bunnie24 on Aug 25, 2012 20:27:33 GMT -5
Bad News: Not long after my grandfathers' death, I've been diagnosed Bi-Polar.
Good News: I am now officially crazy, and I know now why mind/hormones/feelings do random things...but seriously, I now know why I've been acting so bat s$it crazy these past few months.
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Post by The Phantom Lady on Aug 26, 2012 9:11:23 GMT -5
I really hope you can get some help, and like you said, knowing helps a lot...
The bad news is that my worrying about my session tomorrow has me doing the very thing I'll have therapy for...
The good news is, at least I'm getting help... unless I freak out like I've done before and don't go...
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Post by Jinx on Sept 5, 2012 11:15:47 GMT -5
Bunnie, knowing sure helps. I'm sending you strenght and courage in huge packages to help you out Bad news is I'm having a bad time trying to understand how the bus network works, in Marseille. I've never really taken the bus in that huge city, and Marseille being a very old town (was built during ancient Greece I think) it's full of very small streets going every way, and the buses are pretty hard to figure out. Good news is, I have to take the bus because tomorrow I'm having an interview for a diploma I want to get. It'll be a 1 year internship to become a cinema projectionist. I'm on fire right now, so much pressure I think I'm about to explode. If I can make it, whew, it'll be awesome. |
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Post by Mokey on Sept 8, 2012 15:13:49 GMT -5
last night, before we pulled him on life support; we all had one last Jack and Coke with him. And we all told great stories and had such a laugh as well as cries. I miss him SO much, and I can't bare it. I want him back, but I can't. And it all seems so unfair. I went by my grandparents house today and it just wasn't the same; him on the porch with a cup of coffee (or beer) in his hands saying "Hi, baby girl! How are you!?" it just...it hurts knowing that he'll never tell me he loves me again; he'll never see me get married or have kids. I'll never be able to sit with him and talk about politics, and I'll never be able to listen to him go on and on about conspiracy theories. God must've really needed him. Because he touched so many lives and so many people are now lost and troubled without him. Oh Bunnie!!  This brought tears to my eyes!! I am SOOOO sorry for your loss! I am sending lots of warm hugs and love your way!! Take care! |
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Post by Jinx on Sept 20, 2012 12:49:35 GMT -5
Bad news is... My computer stopped working today. Everything went crazy and I had to directly type the commands in the DDOS to just boot it. I'm not really good with computers, so I asked a friend to help me. It was very complicated and I spent the whole day doing it. Apparently the problem resides in the system itself. Not a virus, just a simple bug. Damn. I bought an external hard drive and I'm copying everything I can find on it so I can restore my computer to factory settings. Means I'll have to reinstall all my programs and... All of my games. Guild Wars 2 took about a day to install. And I won't even mention those I have on my Steam account. They are many. Crap.
Good news is, I have been accepted for the class I want to attend this year! There were 50 candidates and only 12 were accepted, and I'm one of them! I will become a cinema projectionnist by the end of the year, and funny thing too: I'm the first woman to take this diploma since 2002! First day is on monday, I just can't wait...
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Post by wikkleshamrocks on Sept 21, 2012 16:32:47 GMT -5
Woohoo! That's fantastic Jinx!  ;D Re: the computer thing... I am so paranoid of crashing technology I back up all my stuff on e-mail and hard disk the moment I make it! I'm a paper and pen girl by nature but I totally understand how overwhelming it is and how we come to depend on this fragile technology!  |
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Post by The Phantom Lady on Sept 24, 2012 5:05:35 GMT -5
The bad news is that I broke a pledge I made to myself...
The good news is that it made me watch 'On The Edge' in the middle of the night, looking for comfort somehow... and I really noticed the beautiful soundtrack... and I just managed to find almost all of them on Spotify!
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Post by Jinx on Sept 24, 2012 11:44:48 GMT -5
@ Shamrocks: Haha thanks, yes it's quite fantastic indeed ! And I trully understand and share your fear of losing stuff on the computer. But I just can't live without it... xD Okay so, today was the first day of school for me. We were 4 women on 15 people, they had never seen so many women in this class the same year!  Bad news. My timetable is crazy. I have 37 hours of class per week, starting at 8 almost every day and finishing at 18. I live far from the school so I'll have to take the bus 2 hours before the beginning of the class, and I will be home roughly 1h30 after the end of the class. We won't have any holiday at all (although we don't work on weekends except when we'll be in internship, 14 weeks during the year) and we'll have to work our a**es off because this formation is normally made during 2 years, and is now condensed in a single year. Good news. Excellent news even. During the year, I'll be able to chose the cinemas I want to work in, even outside France. I can go to every country in the European Union as long as I can find a cinema and a place to stay. THIS IS FRIGGIN AWESOME. But there's something even more awesome than this. The school is in Marseille, which is situated in the south of France. We're working to become cinema projectionnists but the diploma allows us to work as cameramen, scripters, technicians and even screen writers. Pretty cool, huh? But the best of all... I tell you, I cried when the teacher told us. And I wasn't the only one. We'll be given free and unlimited access to the Cannes Festival. FREE. AND. UNLIMITED. ACCESS. From first projection (may 15th, 8 am) to the last (may 26th, 11:30 pm), including opening and closing ceremonies, jury deliberations, press conferences, autographs sessions... Everything. Let me tell you... I can't wait. May 15th will never come soon enough. |
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Post by The Phantom Lady on Oct 8, 2012 8:34:39 GMT -5
The bad news is that it seems I've become allergic to the glue in band aids... I noticed lately that my skin got redder than it usually does when I use band aids (which is often when I'm in the kitchen with huge knives that will slice through chicken in a second and I'm darn clumsy) and this time I've gotten raised spots and it's sore...
The good news, well the deep scratch my cat Findus gave me during the weekend is healing nicely... and also, I beat the flu! Almost, I still cough like a chipmunk in class... but since I cough in such a weird way I put a smile on people's lips so it's worth something
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Post by dulcemirita on Oct 8, 2012 8:41:33 GMT -5
Jinx, your good news are really GOOD NEWS!! I mean, about the free entry to the f****whole Cannes Festival...If indeed there be a Cillian's movie participating, then the thrilling would increase to the max...I hope you can make it and enjoy the best of it! If I'd be able to reborn again and be offered to make another choice on my professional life it would be something very similar to the one you've chosen. So many and interesting possibilities!
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This brought tears to my eyes!! I am SOOOO sorry for your loss! I am sending lots of warm hugs and love your way!! Take care!
;D
