I'm (not) happy because..

[Pig]

Well, the thread says it right? Just post the things you wish to get rid off . Thought I just put happy, and not happy in one thread^^

I'm not happy because... my skin is falling off on my back because I was burned badly last week in Spain

I'm happy because... my best friend's almost home, and we can spend hours talking again.

[emma286]

While there's a number things I could list (lol) as I don't want to depress anyone else in here won't go into extensive detail. Will just say that while there are a few things in life that lead to me feeling down quite a bit right now - including having a couple of (non serious) health problems and having been unemployed for quite some time - am optimistic that things will soon improve! ;D

[razzthekid]

Trying to organise a holiday with friends and it ending up in non stop arguing, resulting in the abondonment of all plans.

[emma286]

Woke up still feeling hang over symptoms three days in a row - after going somewhat too mad last Saturday. Definitely not planning on doing anything like that again in a hurry! Big mistake.

[razzthekid]

My cousin who is the same age as me and has been battling leukemia for the past 6 years is failing. I went to see him yesterday and it was a complete shock. I wasn't prepared for how bad he was at all. Last time i saw him he was walking around and eating etc and just looked kind of sick and tired. Now he's lost the use of his legs, is confined to a wheelchair, can barely breathe, is shaking with the cold, gets these fits of coughing where it sound like he's about to choke from all the fluid in his lungs, and he just looks like an old man all hunched over and barely able to look up at you to say hello.

I couldn't believe it and i couldn't stand to see him like that. I completely broke down when i got home. He's so young and he should be having the best time of his life, but all he's had is hospitals and tests and chemo and bone marrow translpants for the past 6 years.

So yeah. We're all just waiting for the worst news. Everytime the phone rings or my mam gets a message i start to feel sick.

[emma286]

Am extremely sorry to hear about all that Razz. That must be a really horrible thing to have to go through. :-( Really hope that things soon get better, or if not that at least the people in charge of your cousin's care can do more to make him as comfortable as possible. It must be a very difficult time.

[alejandrali]

I feel really sorry about all of this, Razz, and I think I also feel happy: for your cousin for having you, because it shows in your words above that you care a lot about him and how much he means for you.

I know you already are and you already know it: be really strong for your cousin.
This may seems corny, but I don't care, Im sending you a big hug, razz.

[razzthekid]

Thanks. We were never extremely close or anything but it doesn't matter. When it's a relative that you've known all your life and you see them suffering so much it's just awful.

[emma286]

I know what you mean. I went through something kind of similiar with one of my grandmothers a few years back. Can totally appreciate where you're coming from.

[razzthekid]

My cousin's funeral will take place tomorrow.

[alejandrali]

He is better now, Razz. I don´t think there could be many words that I can tell you now. I just want you to know that im here for you and that you can count on me, that you can count on all of us. As my dad says, people only die when you forget them.
So I guess we will have to live very jealous of your cousin. He is going to meet Kurt Cobain first than all of us.

[emma286]

Hey Razz. Hope everything went as well as could be expected at the funeral today. Again, very sorry to hear about things. :-( Though at the same time glad to know that your cousin is no longer suffering.

[Kizuna]

My deepest condolences to you and your family, Razz. I hope your cousin's in a better place now.

As for me...

Well, a while ago, my parents got divorced, which hasn't shocked me since they had almost always had a very rocky relationship (not helped out much by the lack of trust they had as well). Now, my dad's started dating again, and he's told me to be mature about it, so I am doing that. On the other hand, my mom has been paranoid that my dad's new girlfriend might replace her in regards to my life, and she's venting much of her anger over how the marriage turned out to me. I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions at times.

And regarding my mom, I love her, but I swear, she can get so worked up over everything concerning me/my wellbeing. As for my dad, I'm really pissed at him. Recently, I've been under alot of stress from school, my family situation, and trying to maintain a social life. And in it, I've turned to smoking. But even then, it was only that very last resort when I really needed to unwind. My dad found out about it when I had to admit that to him last weekend following a throat infection I got.

So my dad actually e-mailed my mom about the cigarettes! I can understand he's worried about me, but at the same time, I'm really mad that he went behind my back and pretty much snitched on me. Hell, why not also tell her that I've been going to college parties getting drunk, and spending alot of time with guys while you're at it? I just really feel like he tattled on me or something like that.

I'm sorry if I sound selfish here, but I'm just so stressed out now, and I really feel like I need a light. Or at least a drink...

[emma286]

Sorry to hear that Kizuna. Can relate as my parents have both been having marriage problems for as long as I can remember. I actually think they should have - ideally - been divorced ages back. Because I don't see that they're ever going to really sort out their problems, seeing as neither will consider relationship counselling or consider that in their own different ways they're both contributing to the problems. I know what that feeling of being pulled in two different directions at once and feeling caught up in the middle feels like - when two parents are constantly at each others thoats. It can be very stressful. Hope that things soon improve for you.

[disarm79]

razz, I'm so sorry for your loss. Hope you're doing well.