In statu nascendi (ch.39 up) - sequel to ATTFABH

[ohiouniversitygirl]

I think it'll be really interesting to see if this will affect the situation between Rachel and Crane...perhaps Alex will help her to see that Crane has a reason for the things that he does and that he has a side to his personality that is good. Don't get me wrong...I'm not saying Rachel and Crane should hook up (although I think they could have some killer "make-up" sex, lol) but her connection to him through Alex might show both Rachel and Crane that the other person is not so horrible, after all.

[fosforito]

LOL, seems that you´re thinking of sth. in particular (are you thinking of another "sandwich scene"??)

Well, I think, that´s not Alex´primer motivation. She knows that Rachel is trying to put Falcone behind bars and she also knows that Jon´s somehow connected but she still doesn´t know how..

I think, her leading motivation is to get them both (herself and Jon) out of this mess dealing with criminality and murder, but she´s trying to do it in a way not to lose her camouflage - at least not to lose it yet.

And maybe you have realized that Alex´didn´t tell everything to Rachel - she told her about Falcone but she didn´t tell her about her "real boss". And she still dosn´t know who Jon is working for, so there are still details she isn´t aware of..

ohiouniversitygirl said:

I think it'll be really interesting to see if this will affect the situation between Rachel and Crane...perhaps Alex will help her to see that Crane has a reason for the things that he does and that he has a side to his personality that is good. Don't get me wrong...I'm not saying Rachel and Crane should hook up (although I think they could have some killer "make-up" sex, lol) but her connection to him through Alex might show both Rachel and Crane that the other person is not so horrible, after all.

[ohiouniversitygirl]

Does that mean Rachel won't be visiting the cabin with Jon and Alex any time soon?

I really love this story and, as usual, I can't wait for more!! ;D

[fosforito]

OMG, girls you´re cracking me up.. LOL ;D


oh cmon, is THIS really what you wanna see???

ohiouniversitygirl said:

Does that mean Rachel won't be visiting the cabin with Jon and Alex any time soon?

I really love this story and, as usual, I can't wait for more!! ;D

[ohiouniversitygirl]

Ummmm...sadly fosforito...it's exactly what I want to see!!!!! ;D

[fosforito]

LMFAO!!

hmm, you could write this in a story for the RA section like "Rachel´s secret dream" LOL (maybe she will bring in Bruce as well)

oh man, now it´s getting bad...

but sorry to dissapoint you:

in this story here this definetly WON´T happen, haha ;D

ohiouniversitygirl said:

Ummmm...sadly fosforito...it's exactly what I want to see!!!!! ;D

[ohiouniversitygirl]

Alright...well RA section it is, lol! *takes out pen and begins to write* ;D

[fosforito]

oh damn, what have I said??? , LOL ;D

but now back to the subject:

what do you think will happen now? (and NO: no cabin scene, nothing dirty now..)

ohiouniversitygirl said:

Alright...well RA section it is, lol! *takes out pen and begins to write* ;D

[beyond_beautiful]

Wow, this is getting really interesting!

[fosforito]

I assume you mean the story now and not the "special suggestion" of ohiouniversitygirl?

sorry, j/k ... it´s still too early in the morning here... LOL ;D

beyondbeautiful said:

Wow, this is getting really interesting!

[ciaran]

*whip* Alex, university girl, settle down! Geez, do I have to separate you two? *whip* Back to the RA section where you belong. Anyway, there's going to be a dream thread there shortly. Just need to uh...maybe tone down my writing a bit.

[fosforito]

hahahaha LOL

ohh, mistress Ciaran is pulling out her whip, oops!!

*prepares herself to do some Kung Fu stuff*

come here if you dare, LOL

no okay - but seriously, I´m curious about your comments and thoughts on how it´ll go on between Jon and Alex and if you think that sth. had already changed because of Alex´decision.

I´ll stay at home today to work from here and to study, maybe I´ll find the time to write the next chapter (as I already know that the upcoming weekend I won´t have time) today..

[§ilvercell]

lol,hmmmmm,Rachel and Crane.........

[fosforito]

Okay, here is chapter 27!

Please excuse typos and/or grammar stuff (was very unsure this time)

Watch for language!!

Enjoy

Chapter 27 (The good deed)


It was late afternoon already.

Since Jonathan had been at Arkham, he had worked all day without taking a break and now he had done his amount of work faster than he thought. In between he had tried to call Alexandra on her cell-phone but she didn´t attend.

He still wondered what else she was doing when she wasn´t together with him. Jonathan realized that although he was happy to have Alexandra back into his life again, he still knew so little about her past. He hoped that Alexandra would tell him more soon - at the lastest if they would be out of Gotham.

Last night, when they had made love, he had noticed a lot of scars on her body: the big scar on her shoulder and scars on her legs and her back.

As a doctor of psychiatry, Jonathan didn´t have to do operations, but he knew through his medical studies that scars of that kind were mainly caused by gunshot and stab wounds. He knew that Alexandra didn´t had these scars before she was torn from his life. When she still had lived in Gotham they often went swimming together in the small lake at the edge of the forest and Jonathan had memorized every contur, every line of her body. And he still could remember Alexandra´s body in the night they have spent together in the cabin.

Jonathan propped himself on his elbows on the desk and placed his head into his hands. He remembered last night, how Alexandra had tried to cover her scar on her shoulder with her hands. He had noticed her embarrassment, almost shyness when he had undressed her slowly and had pulled her lightly onto the bed. Jonathan could remember Alexandra wearing his kimono last night and he also could remember her waiting to get out of the bed until he was out of the bedroom.
It was as if Alexandra would be ashamed of her body, but he couldn´t see the need for it.

Jonathan knew, how he normally reacted on the people. He avoided physical contact as good as he could, he didn´t touched anybody and he didn´t want to be touched either. He never had shown a lot of his body as the other guys did, not in college, nor at university. He always kept his distance to his girlfriends, physicalwise as well as mentalwise. The sex had been always very short and without passion, being more a physical duty for Jonathan than real desire and most of the times, his „relationships“ had ended as far as they had begun. In Germany, Jonathan had sworn that he would never, ever love anybody again as much as he had loved Alexandra and he was willing to pay the price of loneliness – and he had payed it, year after year.

Since Alexandra was back in his life again, everything was different. While being together with her, he just could be himself, he didn´t have to play a role in front of her. It always had been like this. He didn´t want to keep a distance to her, quite the opposite. He wanted to feel her as close as possible. Jonathan didn´t mind and he even didn´t think about it standing naked in front of Alexandra or running naked through the apartment, as he did last night, when he had carried her back to the bedroom on his arms. It was just a normal thing for him in Alexandra´s presence and Jonathan had the feeling as if it never had been different between them. And now he realized how uncomfortable Alexandra felt being naked in front of him, maybe believing he wouldn´t find her attractive enough because of her scars.

`Alex, I don´t care how many scars you have.´, Jonathan thought. `You are still a beautiful woman and I love you.´

But suddenly Jonathan realized what Alexandra had to go through the last years. What must have happened to her to get all these scars!

`How much she must have fought for her life.´, had flashed through Jonathan´s mind when he had noticed a star-sharped scar on Alexandra´s back last night, nearby her lungs. `How much pain she must have had. What hell she must have gone through during the war.´

And then the rape and the loss of their child! How much this guilt must have tortured her, doubting on herself, believing all the time she had been responsible for losing their child.

Jonathan sighed and dug his face in his hands. He hadn´t been the only one who had suffered. He hadn´t been the only one having a demon inside.

`Alex, I didn´t have any idea.´, he thought. `You have suffered so much and I even caused you more pain. I hope you can forgive me.´

* „You little useless freak! I can´t endure your purr of love anymore!“*, Scarecrow hissed out of his dark corner.

*„I don´t remember to have asked for your opinion.“*, Jonathan responded calmly and took his hands away from his face, staring at the door of his office.

He could see the skinny strawy figure coming out slowly of its dark corner.

*„You don´t have any idea what is means to love. You don´t have any idea what it means to be loved. The only language you understand is hatred and fear.“*, Jonathan said.

*“So-so..“*, Scarecrow hissed and Jonathan could feel his strawy claw placing around his brain.
* „So I never have loved you, right? Did I never want the best for you? Don´t you owe me everything you have, everything you are?“*

*“And what price did I have to pay for it?“*, Jonathan shouted and he clenched his fists to much that his knuckles whitened. *“My hands are covered with blood because of you, the family´s blood of the woman I love. But she came back to me and I won´t allow you to seperate us ever again.“*

*„You´re so blind and so stupid because of love that you even don´t realize you´re making yourself an idiot and how much you´re on the way to lose everything you have worked for all over the years! When will you come back to your senses again??“*, Scarecrow yelled and his grimace faced Jonathan.

*„I have endured you 12 years long without contradiction, how much reason do you still expect from me??“*, Jonathan yelled in his mind when he punched Scarecrow and his strawy claw let go of Jonathan´s brain.

Scarecrow gruntled and stamped his feet up and down wildely, like a child who had lost its favourite toy when Jonathan opened a drawer of his desk and pulled out a filled syringe.

*„You´re a goddamn little idiot! You´re an ungrateful little worm!“*, Scarecrow yelled when Jonathan pulled off the cannula´s cap with his teeth and while Scarecrow´s left arm was trying to punch the syringe out of Jonathan´s right hand.

Jonathan pulled his right arm up while his left hand was gripping his right wrist and Scarecrow tried with all his strength to put Jonathan off his plan.

*„Maybe I am.“*, Jonathan said and he smiled while he squeezed the airbubble out of the syringe. *“But I´m also a doctor of psychiatry and now it´s time for you to go to sleep.“*

Jonathan could hear Scarecrow shrieking when he tore his right arm off his grip and drove the syringe through the fabric of his pants into the side of his right leg.

„Sweet dreams, you strawy arsehole!“, Jonathan shouted when he pulled the injection needle out of his leg again.

He had placed the injection in a way it wouldn´t be injected usually and it had caused him a lot of pain in his leg but Jonathan knew he couldn´t do it in another way in his current situation when his fingertips pressed the injection area and started to massage it.

Jonathan hided the syringe quickly in his desk again when he could hear someone knocking at the door.

„Come in!“, he said aloud and placed his left hand on the desktop while his right hand was still massaging the injection area of his leg.

His secretary Mrs. Nichols had entered the room.

„Excuse me, doctor.“, she said gingerly.“But you have asked for my presence before finishing work.“

Jonathan hesitated for a moment.

„Oh yes, right!“, he responded and waved Mrs. Nichols in. „Please, have a seat.“

Mrs. Nichols nodded and closed the door while Jonathan was still massaging his leg, trying not to show anything of what happened just a minute ago. He could hear Sarecrow, growling and spitting like a cat crawling back slowly into its dark corner when the serum started to work.

Mrs. Nichols had a seat on the other side of the desk and she noticed the opened file laying on the desktop in front of Jonathan.

`Oh god, this is my personnel file.´, Mrs. Nichols thought and she gasped when Dr. Crane started to leaf through it.

„Mrs. Nichols, how long do you already work here?“, Jonathan asked in a calm voice and his piercing blue eyes gazed at his secretary while in his mind he could still hear Scarecrow gruntling.

„Um...umm..“, Mrs. Nichols stuttered. „For.. for 3 years now, since you became director at Arkham, Dr. Crane.“

`My god, is he about to fire me?´, flashed through Mrs. Nichols´mind and she could feel herself trembling.

She could feel her hands starting to sweat when Dr. Crane gazed down to her file again.

„As I can borrow it from your file, you´re single and you have a 10 year old daughter, Samantha. Is this correct?“, Dr. Crane asked and gazed at Mrs. Nichols again.

„Yes..yes Sir, this is correct.“, she responded softly.

„Uh-huh, uh-huh.“, Dr.Crane said and nodded, gazing down to her file again.

Mrs. Nichols´ heart throbbed wildely in her chest.

`If he fires me now what to do then? I have a child at home I have to care for. I don´t get a job that easily in my age!´, Mrs. Nichols thought and in her mind she was seized with panic.

„Tell me, Mrs. Nichols...“, Dr. Crane started, folded his hands on the desktop and gazed at his secretary. „Have you ever received a pay raise from me in the last 3 years?“

She gazed at Dr. Crane and shook her head lightly.

„No...no, Sir.“, she responded softly, looking down to her shaking hands in her coat-tail.

Jonathan nodded again and he took a deep breath, still hearing Scarecrow in his head, spitting softly.

„Well, then I would suggest, you drive home now and discuss with your daughter what salary is appropiate for your work.“

Mrs. Nichols looked up, her eyes wide opened and she couldn´t hardly believe it when she looked into Dr. Crane´s smiling face.

„Doctor.. I.. I don´t know what to say, I..“, she started. „But how can I? I mean, you have to...“

„No no no no no!“, Jonathan shouted with a big smile, declined and leaned back into his chair. „You will decide, you and your daughter.“

Mrs. Nichols´eyes filled up with tears when she could see Dr. Crane´s warm smile on his face. She never had seen him smiling like this before.

„And now its time for you to go home.“, Jonathan said and pointed to the door with his head. „Have a nice evening, Mrs. Nichols.“

„I... umm.. thank you very much.. doctor.“, Mrs. Nichols stuttered, stood up and walked over to the door. „I.. wish you a good trip tomorrow.. to your.. advanced training.“

Jonathan´s smile got wider and Mrs. Nichols smiled as well when she opened the door with shaking hands and stepped out of the office.

`It´s a great feeling to do something good.´, Jonathan thought and he could hear Scarecrow´s last grunt before the skinny strawy creature crawled back into its corner and hided.

[blue]

Gahh... Scarecrow's back. At least Jon was being nice though, although it seemed a bit TOO nice. Too sudden.

Sorry for the lack of review... I'm reading this while doing schoolwork