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Post by bluestar on Sept 19, 2011 14:21:08 GMT -5
Just read chapter 4 and I am loving this fanfic ! Its funny how now she's getting bored of darek and wants more emotion and something more real which is true in life, I love the way you described Dillinger in the office when he was explaining to Judith, I could really imagine it down to the last detail, like with '- The shiny black silk of his vest stretching over his slender back…The fine fluff of hair on his sinewy forearms, immersed with backlight from the sundown, suggesting a fine, bright film along the outline of his skin…' you wrote it very well. And I love how your taking your time in revealing more of Dillinger, he is often cold and distant,but there are short and tender moments there. Can't wait to read more  CB !! |
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Post by Zombiekitten on Sept 20, 2011 9:43:37 GMT -5
@ Victim of Love: So sorry about your tea ! LOL Oh yeah... Several times I wanted to shake Ed too!!  Silly guy... haha @ikklehen: I laughed too as I wrote that part with the bytes XDDDD So glad I could make you giggle as well. Pisces: This chapter is even better ?? *blushing* Awww ...thanks!! @ Bluestar: Thank you so much !! Oh yeah... I loved to write that scene ... *shivers* I'm so happy you liked the parts where cold Ed shows some tenderness.  Thanks to all of you for your lovely and encouraging comments. So wonderful to have people who like my stuff, and its so much fun sharing this story with you lovely girls !! |
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Post by bunnie24 on Sept 20, 2011 12:27:53 GMT -5
Zombie...*slaps* you need to write more!! *slaps* I'm only slapping you so you can write more!!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! It just made my crazy Tuesday amazing! I <3 you! |
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Post by Pisces on Sept 20, 2011 17:54:22 GMT -5
SO lovely. Bluestar already quote my favorite section in this chapter, where you described Dillinger so well at his desk, with that sundown setting him aglow...  I could see that so very clearly. But what I like most about that passage is that it illustrates so well those moments we've all had in life - when everything becomes crystal clear just moments before something of immense importance to us occurs. Judith FELT that kiss coming... and so did I. WOW. And you even noticed those few silvery stubbles... I LOVE your eye for detail! And I smiled when I read that part, because that was definitely your artist's eye seeing him, as well. It's funny how you can tell a lot about the author of a story when you read their work - and that was one of the moments when I could really feel YOU behind it. ;D And ohhh... THIS: She heard his breath, felt his breath, and for this short little moment of sharing closeness for the first time it was the most beautiful thing she has ever felt. I ADORE that. So sensual and erotic and perfect. Then, Dillinger retreats behind his emotional barrier, and poor Judith is cut off from the new, intoxicating side of him all too soon.  I feel her pain! How frustrating to have a man who runs so hot and cold! I won't spoil any further, for those who may not have gotten to chapter 4 yet, but I can feel her frustration building - her dissatisfaction with Darek growing more and more each time she sees him. I do believe she is beginning to resent him! And oh, the heartbreak of hearing Darek say things she wishes Ed would say... poor girl!!! And the ending... you have such a talent for leaving us with a cliffhanger each time!! (That's a skill of its own, by the way!) I can NOT wait for more!!!!!! The way you have developed this beyond a one-shot has captivated me!!!! BEAUTIFUL JOB!!! BRING ON CHAPTER 5!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D |
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Post by Zombiekitten on Sept 21, 2011 13:36:55 GMT -5
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Post by Zombiekitten on Sept 22, 2011 14:34:55 GMT -5
Chapter 5 ready to be read !!!!!!!!
;D ;D ;D
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Post by bunnie24 on Sept 22, 2011 14:57:14 GMT -5
DO IT NOW!! RIGHT MORE!! what is he going to do!?!? He needs to go to her, pounce her...and..yeah... it was awesome! |
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Post by Zombiekitten on Sept 22, 2011 15:34:46 GMT -5
Yeah, that's what he should do, silly guy ;D But I think he needs a proper kick in his sweet li'l ass LOL
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Post by The Phantom Lady on Sept 22, 2011 15:44:26 GMT -5
What was Ed deleting? is it what I think it is?
Come on Ed don't push her away from you! but the fact that he was very upset when he thought she had went home with Flynn shows he does care
SHOW IT!! *joins the party of wanting to shake him*
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Post by bunnie24 on Sept 22, 2011 15:55:11 GMT -5
Zombie...*grabs Ed by his collar* I will hurt him if you don't update in the next 48 hours...and I don't mean the good kind of hurt either!
Ed: *shakes*
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Post by Zombiekitten on Sept 22, 2011 20:37:52 GMT -5
Haha ! Poor Ed. LOL I can imagine he's looking now a little bit like Michael here in your GIF, Bunnie ;D Chapter 6 comes soon... But only if you leave me Ed in one piece and with every part still in the right place. XD He has some... things to do.... |
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Post by bunnie24 on Sept 22, 2011 21:33:37 GMT -5
Haha ! Poor Ed. LOL I can imagine he's looking now a little bit like Michael here in your GIF, Bunnie ;D Chapter 6 comes soon... But only if you leave me Ed in one piece and with every part still in the right place. XD He has some... things to do.... Don't make me use the feather!!!! *puts it up against his neck* Ed: NO!!! I'm ticklish there!!! and yes, he kind of does...I <3 Michael |
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Post by Zombiekitten on Sept 23, 2011 19:54:11 GMT -5
Ed: NO!!! I'm ticklish there!!! Ah really ...?? Good to know.... Verrrrrrry good. Maybe I can use this information for chapter 6... LOL |
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Post by bunnie24 on Sept 23, 2011 21:04:21 GMT -5
You've got LESS than 24 hours Zombie, write it!!!
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Post by Pisces on Sept 25, 2011 15:52:18 GMT -5
How did I miss your latest update?  ? That's my punishment for not stopping by for a few days!  And as always, it's another wonderful installment!!!  I really enjoy Judith's confidence as she pretties herself to perfection for this company bash - she knows everyone will be looking at her, but she only wants the attentions of Ed Dillinger. And she has the double satisfaction of knowing that Ed will see the attention from the other men, which will make him realize what a good thing he's missing out on! ;D I like your mention of "tearing down Ed's firewall..." So appropriate for him! Heh heh - I love how Ed looked at her when she arrived. Trying so hard not to show it but unable to hide his interest. Poor Ed, feeling so out-of-place at the party... I really feel for him. You can feel that he merely tolerates these sort of events, and would be much more comfortable at his desk. It's growing more and more apparent that he's afraid of disappointing Judith with his personality - he sees her as so different from him! LOVED this: Then he took another sip, was staring up to the blackness of the night sky once more, motionless, as if wanting to become some kind of a gargoyle. I could truly see him on that balcony with the city skyline beyond. The suspense you built at the close of the chapter, where Ed is deleting something.... I could feel his tension mounting as those percentages climbed! GAHHHH!!!! What is he UP to? ? Poor man is so lost and so unsure of how to handle the situation... FANTASTIC CHAPTER YET AGAIN!!!! I can't wait to see what happens next!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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CB !!
Silly guy... haha
I could see that so very clearly. 
I feel her pain! How frustrating to have a man who runs so hot and cold!
? That's my punishment for not stopping by for a few days! 
And as always, it's another wonderful installment!!! 