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Post by Zombiekitten on Jul 17, 2011 11:23:11 GMT -5
Well… I dared to write a fanfiction. XD It’s an erotic/dramatic/romantic story featuring Ed Dillinger jr. The Grid-Dillinger, as well as the "real-life-Dillinger". And Judith, a female original character. It’s quite explicit and HOT  But there’s also a trace of tenderness in it. As far as I’m able to judge my own story, I would say it’s adult. So everyone who's interested and who 's 18 of age or older just has to ask me for the link via PM.
As you may know English is not my mother tongue, so please have mercy with me. LOL But please feel free to tell me if you spot some really embarrassing mistakes! This story is completed with 9 chapters. A sequel is in the works. ;D P.S.: Main inspiration to that fic was the fact that I there is a cut out scene from the first Tron movie where the circuitry of the character “Tron” turns purple by the loving touch of a female program… *cough* And as you all know I gave my Grid-Dillinger (unintentionally !) the color purple… *cough cough* So… things came together… inspiration was flying… some naughty thoughts were arising LOL |
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Post by Cait on Jul 17, 2011 11:27:17 GMT -5
WOOOOOO!!!! Definitely send me the link, Zombiekitten! I would love to read an erotic story about Dillinger.  |
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Post by Pisces on Jul 17, 2011 11:49:44 GMT -5
(GASP) Me, me, ME!!! (Waving hand frantically!) Send me the link to your fic!!!!! SO excited to read it!!!! NAUGHTY DILLINGER!!
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Post by The Phantom Lady on Jul 17, 2011 11:59:34 GMT -5
I would love to read it, it sounds to me like this could be something good! Please send it to me!
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Post by disarm79 on Jul 17, 2011 12:00:00 GMT -5
Please send me the link!!
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Post by Pisces on Jul 17, 2011 13:38:17 GMT -5
I couldn't wait to read, so I went and found it on aff.net, lol!! SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!! Firstly, I must commend you for writing a fic in a language that is not your native tongue - that takes real courage, and you did a MARVELOUS job!! Quite a bit better than many fics that were written by people who are native English speakers! ;D Now to review!! SPOILERS AHEAD!! # # # # # I love the title - it's something that at first is vague, but intriguing... but by the end, makes perfect sense. And the erotic style in which this is written is something I very much enjoy (I can definitely read and write the XXX stuff too, but a more gentle brand of erotica can, many times, be even sexier!), and you have mastered it perfectly. Judith's introduction to the Grid was very well done - I liked her enjoyment of it even before meeting another program. But - AH - when Dillinger/Darek arrives... "Did you have a pleasant transfer to the Grid?" I can just hear his smooth voice saying these welcoming words.  The description of his body in the suit - luscious. Her resistance to him at first - and his ultra-intellectual analysis of that - makes for a good dialogue. Hell, he had me persuaded wayyyy before Judith was. LOL! Dillinger/Darek: "Im here to satisfy your sexual desires." Me: "Okay!" Loved this line: His features; angelically beautiful and lecherously hungry at the same time. And the way Judith notices those tiny differences in the man standing before her, and real-life Dillinger - the missing scar, etc - it made me smile because it spoke volumes about the author of the story, who does indeed know his face with such familiarity. ;D One of the most sizzling moments to me was when he was describing every biological change in her body as he seduced her... WOW. HOT. Talk about putting someone under a microscope! That was the moment when we realize Judith isn't going to be able to hide anything from him. Loved how they got out of their suits - because I was wondering how that was going to happen! And.... WOOF... THAT part. I can't think of any way to review it without going nasty here on the forum, but let me just say that it had me fanning myself! He's taking complete control of her, yet his gentleness with her is undeniable - there is a level of safety in their lovemaking that is sweet and makes the hot stuff even hotter. Oh, and this: She leant her forehead to the window, her hot sighs condensing on the cold glass... SMOKIN' HOT. The conclusion: I love the way you left it open-ended. Part of me had been hoping that it wasn't a program but Dillinger himself who had been with her, but the more I think about it, I can see how Dillinger would be the sort of man to "test the waters" by doing something like that. If she had rejected his gift, then he would have found out valuable information - she wasn't interested in him - without risking a face-to-face embarassment. If Judith goes for it, then he himself may well have a green light to pursue her instead of using a program. How delicious!! THANK YOU for writing this, Zombiekitten!! It's sexy, tantalizing, romantic in an offbeat way, and very, VERY erotic!!! I'm so excited about the whole thing, and hope that you either continue writing this fic (I know it says One-Shot, but I can hope, can't I?), or are entertaining the possibility of writing about another of Cillian's characters. I'd LOVE to read more! CB FOR YOU!!!!!! |
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Post by bunnie24 on Jul 17, 2011 17:04:25 GMT -5
SEND IT TO ME, SEND IT TO ME!!!  |
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Post by Zombiekitten on Jul 17, 2011 17:14:41 GMT -5
Ohhhh.... Pisces, my heart was beating so fast as I read your review !!! Thank you so so much! Special thanks for what you said about my English !! I'm so glad that it's good 'cause it would have been so embarrassing for me if it was bad written and with many mistakes ...  And also very special thanks for saying that the erotic parts were very sensual and sexy and hot ... ^/////^ That was exactly what I was striving for: Hot but sweet! Hehehe. hehe... thanks. ;D I had so much fun taking a quote from the Dillinger speech in the movie as a title LOL Aaaaand you're very right: It makes also sense in my story. So I was really happy about that idea. But - AH - when Dillinger/Darek arrives... "Did you have a pleasant transfer to the Grid?" I can just hear his smooth voice saying these welcoming words. *grin* Oh yes, I was hearing his smooth voice too. Everytime he's saying something. Her resistance to him at first - and his ultra-intellectual analysis of that - makes for a good dialogue. Hell, he had me persuaded wayyyy before Judith was. OH YES !!! Me too!! Hahaha But his seducing of her and her resisting was SO damn fun to write ;D One of the most sizzling moments to me was when he was describing every biological change in her body as he seduced her... WOW. HOT. Talk about putting someone under a microscope! That was the moment when we realize Judith isn't going to be able to hide anything from him. That's exactly what I was going for. Hehehe And it was sizzling for me too to write that.... puhhh.... If she had rejected his gift, then he would have found out valuable information - she wasn't interested in him - without risking a face-to-face embarassment. If Judith goes for it, then he himself may well have a green light to pursue her instead of using a program. Very interesting and clever conclusion you made here, Pisces ! I wasn't regarding that aspect !!!  How great! I like that thought. hope that you either continue writing this fic Let me tell you, there are already some ideas floating around in my head about a possible continue !! 'cause I began to love that pairing very much! But I fear that it will be a great challenge for I don't know anything about computers. ... And if I want to describe anyhow things going on at work I might have problems 'cause I just don't know what (real life) Dillinger should talk about. LOL Maybe I have to think about a strategy to avoid talking about computer stuff... QUESTION: It's too... erm.... hot for fanfiction.net isn't it ??  |
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Post by The Phantom Lady on Jul 17, 2011 17:48:53 GMT -5
Okay I have read a few adult fics over the years but this was so different, it wasn't nasty at all, it was 'pure' if you can say that and it was beautiful! Of course it was hot as heck but it was just so...
I must say I love the way you wrote this, and I love the open ending as well!
you did an excellent job with this! Thank you SO much for sharing this!
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Post by Zombiekitten on Jul 17, 2011 18:28:49 GMT -5
@ Victim of Love: Thank you SO much for saying this !!! You can't imagine how much it means to me 'cause that's EXACTLY what I was going for. You made me very happy with what you said !! |
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Post by disarm79 on Jul 18, 2011 11:37:18 GMT -5
Zombie-I still can't believe english is not your mother tongue. I agree with Pisces...better than many native english speakers. I hope you write more in the future! CB! Maybe it's the horrible humidity here, but after reading this I'm sweatier |
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Post by Zombiekitten on Jul 18, 2011 17:04:33 GMT -5
Zombie-I still can't believe english is not your mother tongue. Ohhhh... Thank you, Disarm !! Can't describe how flattered I am !! I really put much effort in using a good English for this fic. But I have to admit that I have a good dictionary at hand that helped me very much. Especially to find out in which context some words are used. For this is often not easy to tell if English isn't your mother tongue. (And thank god there's the correction function in WORDS ) But I do am proud to say that I have quite a feeling for English and I don't make that much mistakes. I just love that language and I get rather often in touch with it in my freetime. For expl the Internet... or listening to songs in English, looking after there lyrics ... etc. I have to say since I'm in this forum I even have developed my English !! It is a very good exercise to read and write almost daily in English. ;D |
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Post by Mokey on Jul 19, 2011 0:51:02 GMT -5
Oh Zombiekitten I would love to read this.
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Post by ikklehen on Jul 19, 2011 18:23:48 GMT -5
It's wonderfully written! Please do more!! You are very talented and creative! What... with drawing art too! I believe I gave you a CB and I have a funny link to show you that ties in nicely and in a comical way to your story but I will have to PM it you as it is a little bit nawty! <3 <3 <3 If anyone else wants to see just PM me ok xxx |
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Post by Cait on Jul 19, 2011 20:52:49 GMT -5
Zombiekitten, I'm astounded! I could picture each moment PERFECTLY in my mind. I can't say I am surprised that you are an excellent writer, because everything you do is like an eruption of pure talent. The way you described Darek/Dillinger and the way he made love to Judith was sensuous to the extreme! Darek sounded so sleek, and so beautiful, exactly as he is in your drawings. You wrote a perfect balance of tenderhearted delicacy, and fiery hot lust. Speaking of the lustful side, just WOW. Unf! One detail in particular that was a huge turn-on to me, and made me think, "Oh yes, this is going to be good!" was the way he undid his suit just to expose all the right parts...rawr, what a delicious image! ;D I also love how the colour of his suit changed with the intensity of his emotion/arousal. Zombiekitten, you are definitely a master of fine detail, this was just brilliant, and way too hot for words. I want MORE! ;D |
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But there’s also a trace of tenderness in it. 
The description of his body in the suit - luscious.
How great! I like that thought.
